Shrine Maiden of Paradise by the Telekinetic Shell
by Mephiles666
Summary: The story begins when Sogiita Gunha, a Level 2 Gemstone Esper, born and raised to a family of farmers in a world where science is scarce, is saved from a Youkai by the local Shrine Maiden.
1. Wondrous Eastern Legend

**Disclaimer:**

Touhou and all characters of that universe were created by a Japanese man who was drunk enough for a group of Irish men.

I am an American who has not even touched a single drug in his life.

A Certain Magical Index was created by another Japanese man. Again, I am American.

Therefore… I OWN THE RIGHTS TO BOTH OF THEM!

*Police crash into the room, handcuff Mephiles666 and drag him away*

GOD DAMN IT! THEY FOUND ME!

**Real Disclaimer**: I don't own shit.

Sogiita Gunha, Farmer's son, age 16 or something. Like all humans born in Gensokyo, he was among those of the human village, and for the most part his life was uneventful (well, from the perspective of a human who was born and raised in Gensokyo, it was uneventful anyways). Save one experience where he, among other children, took a trek to the antique shop Kourindou between the Human village and the Forest of Magic, this was strange because the owner of the shop apparently had a terrible personality, but whatever. One of the books there which slipped in from the outside world, "Theories on natural progression of Esper abilities", apparently was useless to the half human half youkai hybrid as only humans would find its information of any value. Because of this, the shop owner had little care to stop the boy from reading it as he waited for his friends to browse.

Hell, he might have not noticed when the boy stole it. I mean seriously, the guy loves books. When does someone get away with stealing books from him?

…

Ah, who are we kidding? This story isn't about books, so I'll cut the next part short and not bore you.

Ah-hem!

Who knew when it was, perhaps after reading a book from the shop that deals in wares of the outside world, perhaps he took a wrong turn when he was meditating based on the instructions of said book; hell he might have never needed the damn book in the first place! But what mattered was that he awakened to a strange ability, an Esper power (granted, no one in Gensokyo would even blink at its existence).

His body seemed to create an invisible force around him that decreased the physical harm that could come to him and allowed him an increased amount of speed in movement. What made this a weird ability was that while he remained human, according to the doctor, he could not use magic.

It was not that for some reason the spells he tried to use wouldn't work, it was that when he used a spell, his body suffered from internal bleeding, small wounds on his body and he would start having seizures on top of all the pain. It took some of the best human village's best healers to fix that problem. Outside of learning it the painful way, there was nothing wrong with not being able to use magic when you had a weird ability...

...unless of course that weird ability did not compensate for the loss of the ability to use magic.

You see, Magic is necessary to insure superiority of the normal human to the normal youkai. While youkai overall were not that much of a threat, it was usually impossible for a human to win against one in physical combat due to normal youkai being so ridiculously strong, be unkillable without magic or religion, being able to heal faster than you could say "Holy shit, that's fast!" and their innate ability to defy gravity. Unless they had a magical sword or something, a physical battle was usually out of the question.

Speaking of which…

"Huh…huh…huh…" the boy breathed, looking at the dead end he ran into. In spite of being faster than a normal human, he couldn't fly as that ability was robbed from him ever since he gained his weird shield ability.

As a result Sogiita Gunha was easy prey for any Youkai willing to persistently follow him. And without offensive magic, it was flight and nothing but flight when confronted by a youkai. Not to mention that the Youkai behind him knew the forest like the back of its hand. The only thing the black haired boy probably could take on were probably Fairies.

"Oh come ON!" Gunha said, turning to see the monster that cornered him. "There has GOT to be something better than me out here!"

"Human flesh… human flesh…" the big and hairy, carnivorous gorilla like youkai said. It was an ironic image, given their strength and all. It was salivating like there was nothing better in the world than human flesh.

"_Salivating?"_

Oh yes, there was that inconvenience that human flesh was a delicacy to youkai. From what the human boy recalled, Youkai get a sort of natural high from eating human flesh that is much stronger than the high they get when they finally manage to get food after nearly starving to death. That and human flesh is the healthiest thing for them… and it apparently is the best tasting thing for them too. In other words, it was as if humans were made to feed Youkai. Sad, isn't it? Though in all irony, the normal human in this country was more powerful than the normal Youkai, because of magic…

"_Wait, where have I heard that before?"_ Gunha asked himself.

Damn it! Don't call me out on this one! Or I'll make you a pervert! I'm the goddamn narrator! Oh wait, that was my original intention to begin with, never mind.

_"Huh!? Doesn't that break canon!?"_

Not if I work my magic right it doesn't!

…

ANYWAYS, with that on his mind, Gunha knew he had to escape no matter what.

"Catch this!" Gunha yelled as he tried to dash around the brute. "Run run as fast as you can, you can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread-AH!" His taunt was interrupted as the youkai clothes-lined him, causing Gunha to flip and land in his back. "GAH!" Gunha screamed in pain. And with a turn of its body the Youkai was practically on top of him.

"_No! I'm NOT going to die!"_ he thought as he tried to scramble to his feet to flee. He felt his stomach being smashed inwards, the youkai kneed him. Gunha fell and rolled away from the gorilla and onto his feet, wincing at the pain in his stomach.

"Okay, escape is not going to be an option unless I can weaken him!" Gunha thought as he dashed forward, this time at the gorilla-like youkai and not around. A physical fight was not in the youkai's expectations, so Gunha had a moment of chance as he delivered a punch to the monster's chest. Of course, while it hurt the Youkai, the damage itself was easy to shrug off. Gunha was forced to jump back as the youkai tried to grab him.

"Almost got me there," Gunha said with a smirk, he could do this. Maybe not defeat the youkai, but at least he could escape. The Youkai just had to be weakened enough. He dashed at the youkai. _"It would know that I would either attack it head on or go around it. But what about under?"_ he asked himself. The youkai seemed mentally prepared for Gunha do the predictable. Gunha's foot shot forward and into the ground, turning to point perpendicular to the Youkai. He was going to slide!

Wham!

Gunha felt something hit his stomach and he body jerked, coming to a complete stop. The youkai had anticipated that he would try to dive under its legs and had slapped its hand downward. Gunha coughed up blood. The Youkai smirked as it reached back to throw a punch at Gunha's face, if it connected, it was over. Gunha couldn't move due to the severe pain.

"_No, no! Someone, please! Help me!"_ Gunha thought as the Youkai… was hit in the head by a giant Yin-Yang Ball! With a yelp in pain, the Youkai stumbled off Gunha.

The human could see someone floating in the air, it was a girl, roughly 14 to 15 years in age. She had purple eyes, and matching long hair which donned a large red ribbon. Her figure was not unhealthy, but her slender body indicated a lack of physical strength, given that she was a human and not a territorial youkai wanting to eat him instead. Her clothes were red and white, and strongly resembled a traditional shrine maiden outfit. Gunha could only guess that the country's Shrine Maiden was the one his rescuer.

The youkai roared ferociously before leaping at the girl, only to be parried by a stick with talismans attached to the end. A gohei, and strangely, the force of the youkai's attempted slash couldn't break the girl's weapon. Reinforced with divine power? Whatever the case may have been, the youkai had managed to force the girl to the ground, but the girl lifted her free hand and aimed her palm in the Youkai's face, before releasing some sort of energy bullet. The youkai screamed and staggered backwards in pain, holding its face.

As the Miko's Yin Yang orb which came out of nowhere was flying at her, she reached around her body with the gohei and swung outwards, hitting the Yin Yang Orb right into the youkai. Immediately the Yin-Yang orb flew back at the Miko, who immediately whacked it again with her gohei. Repeatedly, she hit the orb into the youkai, until finally the youkai screamed its last breath and started dissolving into the supernatural energy that youkai are constructed of.

The Miko had won, and Gunha was safe. The Miko turned and looked at Gunha,

"Are you alright?" she asked. Gunha had been temporarily mesmerized by the fight, so it took him a few seconds to respond.

"Y-yes! My stomach hurts, but I've recovered from worse!" he said, though the thing he recovered prior wasn't as bad as what had just happened.

"Can you walk?" the Miko asked.

"Yes!" Gunha answered, getting to his feet with some difficulty.

"I'll take you to the shrine, once you recover, you can head back to the human village." The Miko said.

"Ah, the Hakurei shrine?" Gunha asked. He heard the name of the shrine before, but wanted to clarify that he remembered it correctly. If he recalled correctly, it had the same name as the bloodline that ran it. _It would have sucked if he forgot the name of the only shrine in their world._

"Yes." The Miko answered.

"Ms. Hakurei, thank you for saving me." Gunha said with a bow of gratitude.

A relatively short walk later:

When Gunha and the Miko reached the shrine, he could see that it was completely wrecked.

"What happened!?" he asked in suprise.

"A youkai decided to wreck it. I sought it out and exterminated it with extreme prejudice," the Miko answered.

"Really? You must have kicked his ass in five seconds." Gunha said

"No, it was more along the lines of an epic showdown," the Miko answered in boredom.

"Really?" Gunha's eyes flared, he loved exciting stories. "Can I hear about it?"

"I'd bother telling how it went, but I need to repair the shrine."

"I'll help!" Gunha said. "My arms still work! So you can tell me while we work."

"What about your stomach?" the Miko asked.

"The initial pain is gone and I want to pay you back for saving my life," Gunha said.

"You could give me donations," the Miko said offhandedly.

"I picked wild oranges before I was attacked by that Youkai. I managed to collect extra so we can eat some when after we're done without there being a problem."

"No, I meant you could bring me donations every once in a while," Reimu corrected.

"Oh…well, consider me helping you fix the shrine as my first donation!" he said as he pumped his fist into the air. The shrine maid let out a sigh in defeat.

"Alright, here, start with clearing that section over there," the Miko pointed to a part of the wrecked area.

"Okay," Gunha made his way over to a part of the pile that was once the shrine, he started to remove parts away. Clearing debris, picking up what looked valuable and so on. "Ah, Ms. Hakurei, I'm Gunha. Sogiita Gunha, I never got your name."

"Reimu, Hakurei Reimu," the Miko answered as they got to work. "Anyways, so it all started when my Shrine was wrecked, and I was infuriated…"

As she spoke, Gunha gazed at Reimu for a moment. Upon closer inspection, she had a rather slender body. While a woman who was shapely was preferable to men in this world, slender was not bad either for various reasons. It was also a matter of whether they were properly shapely or properly slender. Just because you liked a shapely womon doesn't mean you can't find a slender woman who looked better than most of the shapely women you've seen. And Reimu seemed to be a proper type of slender. Coupling that with her long shiny hair, she looked beautiful. Slowly, Reimu's clothing seemed to vanish into thin air, revealing her naked body. That beautiful, slender-

_"Woah! Woah! Wooooooooooah! Time out!"_ Gunha thought berated himself, _"Why the hell am I thinking that! No! I have a reputation to build, and being the village pervert is not what I want on my history! Bad enough Sensei caught me peeking on the girls changing last week..."_

"Then BOOM, this angry ghost comes out of nowhere and says "You shall not pass!" and I respond with…are you okay?" Reimu asked, noticing Gunha's apparent change in posture and expression.

"Huh, yeah, I just felt like something was totally off." Gunha answered as he set a stack of boards down. And thus started the relationship between the Farmer's Son and the Shrine Maiden; one which would be filled with adventure, tragedy, humor, and perverse antics.

**Author's notes: **

Chances are that no one will notice, but I managed to rewrite this chapter.


	2. Recorded Sealing of an Oriental Demon

I don't own anything…Gunha is OOC…

**Early Morning:**

"Hey dad," Gunha asked his father as he put on his brown, commoner's kimono (the kind men wear, not the kind women wear; there's a difference).

"Yes?" he father, who looked like a 40 year old version of Gunha and was similarly dressed, asked.

"We have an Orchard..."

"Yes~?"

"And we have a garden..."

"Yes~?"

"But we don't have crop fields…"

"Yes~?"

"So how the hell are we farmers?"

Gunha's father stood there for a moment.

"Damn it boy! Don't call me out on this one or you'll become a pervert!" his father shouted while throwing his hands up like a hysterical monkey.

"But I thought I was already a pervert."

"That's just the rumors talking! Nobody can prove you are! Not even the Dragon God!"

"But the narrator said-"

"Don't break the forth wall!" Gunha's father cut him off.

"But I-"

"Don't…break…the forth wall!"

"Okay, but seriously, how-"

"The balls are inert!"

"What does that mea-?"

"It means that you are to take these to the shrine maiden whom we are indebted to for saving your life!" Gunha's father cut him off, handing him a basket of fruits and vegetables.

"Um, okay?" Gunha said with a confused face as his father pushed him out the door.

"Be back before sun down!"

**Hakurei Shrine:**

"What is with these blackberries?" Reimu asked, "They're as red as my kimono and oddly shaped."

"Those? Those are raspberries." Gunha corrected her. "We used the seeds I gathered from the fruit I got last year."

"Oooooooh, so those are raspberries...Hmmm...Where did you get them?" Reimu asked.

"Eh, in the mountain area nearby here, my family has occasionally transplanted wild autumn fruit plants onto our property. Remember when you saved me from that one youkai?" Gunha asked.

"No." Reimu blankly admitted, much to Gunha's disappointment.

"Well it was that area. Eh...anyways, please accept this donation." Gunha said as he handed the small basket of autumn fruit to the shrine maiden.

"Thank you, if you'll wait a moment, I can give you back your basket after removing its contents." Reimu bowed before entering her shrine.

When his family found out that his life had been saved by said shrine maiden, they started donating to her. The thing was, they were usually busy, since their only source of income was food, which they have to keep maintained daily. His family, while they had average income, had more than enough produce to ensure their position in the human village and survival in the winter. As a result, the only thing they could really spare for donations was food, not that the shrine maiden minded it. Also, there were only two areas in the country that were truly safe, the human village and the shrine. However, the path between them was as dangerous as any other place in their world. Thus Gunha was the one sent to give donations to the shrine since he could run so fast.

The food donated was what his family couldn't sell. It wasn't passed its "sell by date" or anything, but if they waited another 24 hours then it would probably have started fermenting and then it would be less of a necessity food item and more of a sake ingredient by then. Although, because a month had passed since Gunha had been rescued by Reimu, the Sogiita family was giving her fewer and fewer donations. At this point, giving her sake didn't seem like a bad idea in their minds. Regardless, if giving food was better than giving sake or beer, then the sense of urgency would be another reason to send the fast running boy.

There was also the fact that he sucked at sales, but we won't get into that.

"Hello," came a voice that sounded like it came from an old man.

"Huh?" Gunha spun to see...nobody. There was not a soul at the shrine beside himself, Reimu and if you wanted to put it this way, a wrinkly turtle.

Wait a minute...

"HOLY CRAP! A TALKING TURTLE!" Gunha pointed at the turtle.

"HOLY CRAP! A TALKING HUMAN!" the turtle shouted. Gunha paused in reaction.

"What?"

"What?"

"You said 'Holy crap, a talking human!'."

"I did?"

"You did."

"That was the first thing I said when I learned the translation spell," Gunha twitched at those words.

"You can use magic?" Gunha's eyes widened.

"Child, when you get as old as I am…" the turtle started lecturing, although Gunha didn't pay attention.

"A…turtle…can use magic…a freaking turtle," Gunha said, starting to mentally break down; well, he would have if he hadn't already accepted the fact that he couldn't use magic. That and Reimu came back.

"Ah, I see you met Genji," Reimu said, having returned from inside the shrine's main building.

"When did you get a turtle?" Gunha asked, snapping out of his would be state of insanity, still shaken.

"I caught him four weeks ago," Reimu answered.

"She's been working me to the bone ever since," The turtle commented.

"Aha~, good, good~" Gunha said, trying not to be pissed. "I'll be going now~ Hehehehe…"

"Sir, you don't seem to be alright," Genji pointed out, as Gunha's maniacal laughter was only so transparent.

"No, my father told me to come back before nightfall," Gunha answered.

"Well, as always, thank you for your donation," Reimu bowed enthusiastically.

"Alright, see you," Gunha said with a slight bow as before walking towards the shrine ground's main gate. He sped off the moment he reached the bottom of the stair, hoping to make his trip from the Shrine to home as short as possible. Reimu looked at her turtle.

"Genji, I'll be training in the mountains until I have managed to make my divine energy bullets strong enough to do more to youkai than inflict physical pain." Reimu said. Granted, she was originally going to train on the Shrine grounds, but the idea of fresh autumn sweets appealed to her; the raspberries given to her didn't make it into her fruit basket.

**The shrine, a week later:**

The road to the shrine was as boring as ever; though that wasn't a bad thing seeing that the average youkai was more powerful than Gunha. If Gunha didn't know better, he'd think that his body was feeling lighter. Not only that, but the trip to the shrine seemed to be getting shorter every week. Speaking of which…

"_Last legs, just up these steps and I'm there." _Gunha thought to himself. He ran up the staircase and saw the shrine, the home of the woman that saved his life and continually protects the border. As he approached the shrine, he felt like something was completely out of place, but couldn't place it; well, at least not until he was close enough to the first building. It looked like it was partially ransacked - teeming with ghosts and youkai - the miko nowhere in sight.

"_What!"_ Gunha thought as he staggered back. As he spun to flee, he soon realized that his escape was impossible as the exit was now just as covered with youkai as the rest of the area. Gunha was trapped. Nowhere to run, he was going to have to fight them. Gunha put his fists up, recalling the occasional fist fights he had with other boys in the same age group. Of course, he was going to be fist fighting youkai who were...

"I am hungry!" a green fuzzy youkai shouted as it rushed at Gunha, who attempted to clothesline it. The youkai was knocked flat on its back, but it was bound to get back on its feet in a minute, leaving Gunha little time to take out the next enemy: it had a set of large red eyes on its top and front end and a pair of menacing yellow eyes on its back end. The light grey monster flew in at Gunha's stomach, smacking the boy to the ground. He had only one second to scramble back to his feet, a second he promptly lost as he was only half way up when the gray youkai tackled him again. The gray youkai opened its maw and rushed in with intent to bite him, which wouldn't have been good considering how strong youkai are. Gunha didn't bother scrambling at first until he rolled to the side of the things' path at the last moment, allowing him just enough time to get back on his feet before he could see that the green youkai was back on its feet…er, floating. More youkai were approaching as well, all probably either bored or wanting to be the one to eat the human that stupidly walked into their domain. Gunha could see that there were two in front of him, and probably more behind him: more gray mask youkai, some white ghosts who seemed to have slobber issues, and several blue sparkling entities whose true shapes could not be seen by the human boy. The future was starting to look bleak…

There was sound, it was vaguely familiar to Gunha's ears. It was the sound of a small explosion. One of the youkai in front of him vaporized, leaving behind a nasty residue of scattered magical energy. Several more shots could be heard, Gunha saw that familiar energy bullets were raining down on the opposing groups, one shot destroying each ghost or youkai. Gunha looked up to see a familiar girl standing at the entrance of the Shrine grounds.

"Ms. Hakurei!" Gunha shouted in relief. If the Miko was here, he reasoned, then he would survive. He then noticed something off about Reimu, no, she wasn't under control of anyone or anything…she was absolutely furious. Granted, if you were a youkai exterminator and saw that your home had been ransacked by them, you'd probably be pissed yourself. The shrine maiden lifted both of her hands and gathered energy to them before firing off the same red energy bullets that she was so accustomed to shooting. The last time Gunha had seen the shrine maiden fight, those bullets didn't do more than stall youkai, now they were killing youkai faster than one could say 'ZUN!'. Gunha noticed the turtle flying to her side.

"What the heck is this? I'll never get any sleep like this!" she shouted. Granted, her anger was slowly being replaced by anticipation. She looked to the boy who visited her, to Gunha, it almost seemed like she was about to accuse him.

"Eh, well, it was like this when I got here." Gunha said before that could happen; granted, she might have never thought that he was in the first place.

"Probably just as well, now I can show off the results of my training!" Reimu said with equal force to her previous comment. It was also probably a way for her to blow off steam, though her enthusiasm seemed to rise.

"M'lady, something strange is controlling these ghosts." came a familiar old man's voice. Gunha looked down to see Genji. "Their boss must be somewhere nearby. Somehow, I feel a foreign power is behind this... in any case, I'll come along with you."

_"Huh, A turtle who has lived a long life may possible have acquired many powers. So I guess it shouldn't be too unlikely that he could fly too."_ Gunha thought.

"I was going to ask you to come along, anyway. I can't fly on my own, you know..." Reimu said. This confused Gunha slightly as he recalled Reimu flying when she saved him from that one youkai a month ago.

_"A continuity erro-"_ before Gunha finished that thought; he recalled something his father said.

_'Don't break the forth wall.'_

While that guy was always smoking something in spite of his disposition against alcoholic beverages, Gunha decided not to question it for now. The point was that Reimu could handle this. With that in mind, Reimu took Genjii and set out to find the source of these troubles and exterminate it.

"Sure is weird!" she said with optimism.

…

Watching Reimu coax and then cut through the waves of Youkai and ghosts was an amazing sight. It seemed she could temporarily absorb the magical residue left behind whenever one of the creatures was destroyed to strengthen her own combative prowess, making her even more dangerous as the youkai and ghosts made a futile attempt on her being. After a few minutes, Reimu finally broke the silence.

"Those were a LOT of ghosts!" Reimu's optimism finally gave way to her frustration.

"M'lady, look! A suspicious character!" the turtle she was riding said.

"I mean, what good IS this shrine?" Reimu said, so angry that she seemed to be steaming.

"Hello! Can you hear me?" Genji shouted out.

"Of course I can, you silly old turtle!" the Miko huffed. The turtle took offense to these words.

"Not you! Her!" Genji gestured with his head a woman in front of the main shrine building. Reimu could tell, probably thanks to her miko training, that the girl was a human. The woman in question had brown eyes, long brown hair in two braids, and was holding a piece of chalk in her left hand. She was wearing a white shirt with a purple bow beneath its collar, along with a brown skirt that covered her footwear, if she had any, from aerial view.

"Whaaat, a human? She's getting such a beat down!" Reimu shouted in anger. Gunha would have interjected on Reimu's accusation had it not been for the fact that the youkai, who feed on human flesh, were not even touching the new woman.

"Um, m'lady..." it seemed like Genji didn't have the same idea, or simply was trying to calm down the angered shrine maiden. Of course, this was thrown out the window when the woman spoke.

"I am not a 'suspicious character'! All of the monsters in this place were created by me!" the woman declared. Reimu deadpanned at the words.

"And that's not suspicious to you?" Reimu said in rage.

"Whatever. Now, you face my greatest creation, if I do say so myself: the Flower Tank!" the woman exclaimed proudly. In a flash, the girl was inside a vehicle, probably similar to what the outside world uses if anyone here in Gensokyo had ever seen one. It had red caterpillar tracks and a gray turret, which had a Yin-Yang orb on top and many leaves hanging from its rear. Finally, it had vines hanging around the main gun. "So, just be a good girl and blow up, thank you." the woman said arrogantly. Reimu, needless to say, was pissed.

"Hey! Just who the hell do you think I am!" Reimu asked, brandishing her gohei staff.

"Let's rock!" the woman shouted before their fight commenced.

…

The battle was fairly short; it was mostly the woman's tank trying to endure shots while Genji tried to dodge shots and Reimu returning fire. The tank exploded with a shock wave, signifying that Reimu won. In the remains of the Tank, the woman got up and fled.

"I, I couldn't do it...this is good-bye..." she said, tears running down her cheeks. This somehow put off Reimu, leaving her mildly confused and feeling awkward; but Reimu did manage to comment.

"Damn, never did find out who she thought she was talking to..." Reimu said, as if trying to make a joke to lighten the mood of what words were transgressed. Genji, however, was adamant.

"Shall we give chase m'lady?" the turtle asked.

"Not so fast, it could be a trap." She said. Reimu seemed to exercise caution.

"Wait, you're not going to chase after me?" the woman, who was some distance away by, asked. Her tears had drastically lessened by now but had yet to subside.

"AFTER HER!" Reimu shouted, suddenly gung-ho. Genji had a look of confusion on his face, no doubt from Reimu's self-contradicting actions.

Gunha watched as the Shrine Maiden fled from the scene, chasing the one who filled her shrine with monsters. Their journey would lead them to strange places, and to encounters with even stranger people.

But after processing what had just happened, he felt the palm of his hand land itself square on his face. He would go home and tell his parents about what happened. Maybe the fact that Reimu had saved his life again would make them want to start donating again...

He wouldn't bet on it.

* * *

><p>Special Thanks to Kerreb17<p> 


	3. Oriental Dream Dimensions

**_Toaru Majutsu no Index and all characters thereof are copyrighted by Kazuma Kamachi, Kiyotaka Haimura, ASCII Media Works and Dengeki Bunko. Please support the official release._**

**_Touhou Project and all characters thereof are copyrighted by Team Shanghai Alice, ZUN and a Mystery man that can drink more beer than you, an Irish man and an Oni put together (wait, isn't that the same guy?). Please support the official release._**

**_Constructive Criticism is appreciated._**

* * *

><p>Three teenage human boys; a red head, a blond, and a black brunette; all stood behind a wooden wall which was part of the hot springs while in bath robes. This spring was often used for humans and youkai to for bathing, but as was almost as old as Gensokyo itself, it would soon be cooled to the point of being relatively useless as a hot spring. So the class was allowed today to visit the springs in case it wouldn't last another year. While it was used by both sexes, it was only used by one at a time. And all of the other boys had left as their time there was over.<p>

So why where these four lingering there? And why were they hiding?

"Dude, I know your grades have been great and all, but seriously, this is bad," the blonde commented.

"Don't try to stop me, bro." was all that the black haired boy said as his eye was looking through the peephole.

"And what do you plan on seeing? The girls went BEFORE the guys did, right?" the redhead asked.

"Keyword is "girls". I'm not looking at girls," the black brunette answered, he started drooling at what he was looking at…

"What do you mean? If you wanted to spy on the boys..." the blond sounded nervous.

"No man, I mean "girls" as oppose to that!" the black haired boy took his face away from the peephole, he saw something he liked if the stupid starry eyed look and the drool was anything to go by. And since he had made it apparent that he was straight, this made the other boys curious. They all tried looking through the peephole.

Judging from her appearance, she was probably in her early twenties. Her skin was pale with long silver hair with blue highlights. Her body was shapely with nice curves, a large bust and a well-proportioned butt to match. Since she was being covered with such a small towel, little was left to the boys' imaginations. As she sat down her face could be seen, her face containing familiar brown eyes.

"Dude, that's Sensei!" the blond commented, stifling a yell.

"Keine Sensei!" the red head did the same. The two backed away from the peephole.

"I know~" the black haired boy said with a perverse smile as he looked out the peephole again, while inappropriately touching himself.

"Dude, I know you have raging hormonomoans-"

"Hormones," the black haired boy corrected.

"Whatever, you've got to stop,"

"Don't be a wimp,"

"Can anyone be as stupid and perverted as you?"

"Your mother,"

"Oh, that is so mature,"

"Alosersayswhat?"

"What?" ask the Red head, to which the black haired boy quickly looked back at him with a smile.

"Exactly~," he said before looking back out the peephole. This made the red head twitch in anger, but for some reason he didn't say anything. "By looking on at her gorgeous body, I'll be getting back at her for when she punished me for spying on the girls. And she can't punish me because I have the best grades in her class!" He didn't see anyone in the baths. "Huh, where did she go?" Silence, this was odd because the black haired boy's friends were bound to make a comment at this point moment, being friends with them for so many years taught him at least that much. The black haired boy looked back only to find see that they were gone. _Then there was the matter as to where his hand was._

_"Why did they leave?"_ the black haired boy thought to himself.

"Gunha, what are you doing here?" asked a familiar, feminine voice, adult, soprano, and angry. The black haired boy slowly turned around to see Keine standing in front of him. She had gotten out of the bath to see why she heard a boy's voice over right outside the entrance to the spring. Despite holding a towel in front of herself as if to cover her nipples and her neither regions, she still held both an authoritative and menacing aura about her. Her eyes fell to where Gunha's hand was and widened. "What on earth do you think you are doing?"

"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh...watching a goddess! " the black haired boy said, sweating in terror.

"R-Really! I don't see any goddess!" Keine said, trying to compose her shaken yet disgusted and angry self.

"True, I must not insult your beauty by implying that you are so low as to be compared to a goddess!"

Keine was somewhat (maybe) flattered that she was being complemented to highly. However, this changed little over the fact that this was the third time she caught Gunha peeking on females naked, bathing or otherwise. And even though this was the first time, he was peeking on her.

"You do realize how deep of trouble you are in, young man?" Keine asked as her menacing aura came back to her. Gunha was given a lectured by his practically naked teacher about how wrong it was to peek on women bathing. Gunha was paying close attention alright…to her chest. "Look me in the eyes when I'm talking to you!" Keine demanded periodically. At the end of the lecture, Keine straightened herself out. "Now…what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Way to kill my kill my boner Sensei." Gunha said, obviously he didn't hear a word she said. A huge tick mark appeared on the Were-Youkai's head.

_"Oh shit,"_ Gunha thought.

"Gunha…you do know what happens to ill-behaved children, correct?" Keine asked. Gunha didn't know when she had put her hand on his shoulder. But now that she did, there was no escape. He wet himself.

"WAIT! I'm the only one that pays attention in your class!" Gunha tried to reason. This didn't stop Keine.

When all of the girls from the class were together in the inn, they wondered who was it that was screaming like a little girl out in the baths when they were all accounted for.

**The next day, early morning:**

Keine's current attire was something people were more accustom to seeing her in. Looking at her now, she was wearing a hat that looked like some kind of building with a red ribbon on top and glyphs inscribed along its side. Her dress was dark blue with white short sleeves, and a red ribbon is tied to the bottom of the collar. But his eyes couldn't help but remember her nude form – and her raging face when she caved him.

The class was on its way back to the human village. The path used was the road which connected various locations in Gensokyo, including the spring baths and the human village. They were passing by the Hakurei Shrine when someone noticed something off not far. It has a large set of Ruins.

"Hey! That wasn't there when we left for the springs yesterday!" someone said.

Of course, the students wanted to check it out.

"Let's play there!" one of the younger children said. Though said child was stopped by either one of the chaperones or by one of the older students.

"We promised your parents that we'll get you all home before 8:00," Keine said, discouraging the children, before turning to one of the other chaperones. "We'll need to see to it that someone investigates this once we arrive in the village,"

"What about the Shrine Maiden?" the other adult asked.

"She'll see it when she wakes up," Keine answered, pointing at the Hakurei Shrine which was just a jog away.

**Outside Ruins Entrance, 9:00 AM:**

Other than curious youkai, two members from the Sogiita family were the first ones here after Keine's class made it to the village. One was Gunha, the fastest foot running human in the Human village; the other was used to having to deal with said boy.

"Seriously, why does he have to send me so early in the morning?" Gunha groaned to himself, "And after returning home from the springs, too."

"It can't be helped, and it's not like you'll be able to go back to sleep," came the voice of the one that accompanied Gunha. Gunha's family couldn't be bothered to deal with the Ruins situation so much as to send the crack head family head who could only sell peaches when high. But they were able to send their two eldest children; Gunha, and his older brother, who looked like a taller and more mature version of him.

_"And why is this flower loving bastard here? Oh yeah, because my father thinks I'm bound to rape someone if I don't have supervision."_ Gunha asked himself, he didn't like working with his brother.

Since Gunha could fight a youkai on equal terms, this meant that his death would be guaranteed if he fought one. His brother on the other hand, being slightly more powerful than the average human from the human village, could actively hunt them. Not on the same level as some other humans from the human village, the Shrine Maiden of Paradise, the supposed Fire Ninja that lived in the bamboo forest or others; but he was decent enough to do so. Speaking of others, his brother turned and looked at someone approaching.

"Heya Gunhas, How's yas hangins,"this voice was all too familiar to Gunha.

Gunha knew her through her cousin whom he was best friends with. Marisa Kirisame, one of the most powerful humans in the land of Gensokyo at age 15. She had shoulder length red hair and donned a purple robe with yellow trim alonf with a matching witch hat. An ordinary magician, as being a human means she cannot truly specialize the way youkai magicians could, save her insanely powerful destructive spells. Apparently a kleptomaniac, given the reputation she had during her short years at school. While she now had an incredibly cute face, much to Gunha's delight, she still spoke in that irritable fashion.

It was fast and thus hard to follow, but what topped it off was that she developed an odd way of speaking. At first glance, it sounds like she puts S's at the end of every other word. Though if you pay attention, it sounds like a "Zeh" sound, especially at the send of several sentences. But even that wasn't quite right.

While you'd hear from a normal person 'Yo John Doe, how's it shaking?' you get 'Yos Johns Does, hows' it shaking-zeh?', and since it was soft you wouldn't notice it at all save the "zeh" at the ending. But when it came to women, Gunha always found a way to pay attention to the useless or irritating details (and not the important ones). He could even predict when she'd add "Da" at the end of a paragraph before she said "Zeh". Think that's bad just reading it? Then think about how bad it is listening to it.

"Hey Marisa," Gunha waved.

"Girlfriend?" his brother asked which irked him.

"She's a lesbian," Gunha said, based on what he knew and heard over the years.

"Yous don'ts haves anys proofs," Gunha heard from her.

"You don't have any proof," His brother heard. Gunha turned his head away to let his brother suffer what he was suffering from, though this plan wouldn't work, since his brother didn't notice the odd way of speech. Gunha eyed the area as more youkai and humans appeared there. It was interesting how one oddity can cause so many to come into one area outside of the two safe areas without killing each other.

"MASTERS MIMAS~!" Marisa squealed before darting away from the duo and towards a woman. This new woman had green eyes, long green hair and was wearing a white cap along with a blue vest a long white and blue dress with green markings around its edges. Down her back flowed a long blue cape with yellow trim, fastened at her neck with a red ribbon. She had a dark blue tail rather than legs, an indication that she was a Ghost, as well as more than two arms. A heavy chain can be seen hanging over the left-side of her vest and beneath the cape.

"There's my proof?" Gunha asked his brother.

"Yes, I believe your argument stands that she is a lesbian," Gunha's brother said as they watched the retreating Marisa. Looking back at the entrance of the ruins, Gunha saw a piece of paper on the ground that everyone seemed to not notice. He casually approached it and picked it up…

_The ancient ruins: "Fantasy Ruins"_

_Grand opening, 10am today…_

_To you who visit the ruins, we present something to make you happy._

_Our sincere thanks to everyone who stops by._

Gunha paused. Something was not right about this…specifically the fact that 'Grand opening' and 'Ancient Ruins' were in the same sentence… but he didn't think on it as he tossed the paper.

"Unless she simply has a thing for ghosts and older folk," He heard his brother say.

"Huh?" Gunha asked, totally forgetting about the conversation about Marisa he had not seconds ago.

"So you two have arrived," he heard in a voice he remembered causing him much pain the night before. And it wasn't the pain that you could get off on either. He tried to make sure that he was composed when he turned around and saw the human village's History Class Teacher. Beside her was a girl that had purple/black hair and eyes, wearing a light pink flower-shaped ornament in her hair which matched the flowers on her sleeves. Her outfit resembled a "wa lolita" type or a Japanese maid outfit. It had yellow flower-patterned sleeves, a green vest, and a shortened hakama skirt separated by a red, white laced obi. Hieda no Akyu was her name if Gunha recalled correctly, recalling seeing her when they elected the new mayor.

"Ah, yes. Our father saw fit to send us in his stead," Gunha's brother said.

"Sensei!" Gunha shouted with a stiff bow to Keine.

"Good morning again, Gunha," Keine said. She wasn't giving off that menacing aura that she had the night before. Nor did she have the look of rage that accompanied it when Gunha received his punishment. She was just being her usual, serious self. Even so, Gunha was still scared.

"Good to see you and Ms. Hieda in good health," Gunha's brother said. Gunha was still bowing.

"Is something wrong Gunha?" Akyu asked. This drew his brother and Keine's attention.

"What? No! Nothing at all! Certainly not!" Gunha straightened up with a nervous laugh, waving his hands up defensively.

"Gunha, if it is about last night, I forgive you so long as you make sure not to do it again," Keine said, full of understanding in spite of her serious face. When you calm down and think about it, there was bound to be someone like Gunha, and someone was bound to use the chance to spy at the springs, and someone was bound to spy on Keine.

"R-Really?" Gunha asked.

"Yes," Keine said with a nod and a soft smile. That soft smile made Keine look like an Angel in his eyes. Gunha's heart fluttered for a moment when-

"Last night? What did Gunha do?" his brother asked. Before Keine could answer, Gunha cracked.

"I didn't peek on sensei while she baaaaaaaaaaaaaaathed!" was the Telekinetic Shell's response. Keine was wide eyed at the fact that Gunha would blow his cover like that. Akyu was simply shocked if not horrified. For his brother, this was normal. Or rather-

"An improvement!" Gunha's brother said as his voice filled with happiness as his face brightened.

"An improvement?" Keine inquired.

"Yes, it means that he's finally stopped having wet dreams about-OW!" Gunha had stomped on his brother's foot, refusing to let the older boy finish that sentence.

"So, Ms. Hieda, it seems that this place has a grand opening," Gunha said, quickly changing the subject.

"I doubt it's an actual set of ancient ruins given the fact it has a grand opening," Akyu commented.

"That and it appeared overnight," Keine commented.

"Now that you mention it-" Gunha's voice was cut off by the roar of some more powerful members of the crowd.

"It's a challenge!" Gunha, his brother, Akyu and Keine turned and saw a bunch of people gathering around a sign.

_Inside the Fantasy Ruins, Capacity: 1 person. The capacity must be strictly observed._

_If the capacity is exceeded, then we can no longer guarantee the existence of these ruins in this dimension._

"We'll hold a tournament using the Spell Card system!" someone declared.

Gunha cringed. You see, the Spell Card system is a fighting method used to resolve conflicts without the need for loss of lives. It was still a new concept the rules were still being ironed out, but it was taking over rather quickly. Basically, you held a duel in which you had to create a pattern of energy bullets to overwhelm your opponent. A battle of physical and mental speed and stamina in which the most beautiful pattern would win one could call it. This dueling method would allow weaker humans and youkai to be able to fight stronger humans and youkai on relatively equal ground. This means of battle was taken a liking to by women and youkai, and REALLY liked by female youkai due to its flashy displays.

It never sat well with the male human population, especially for those who can't use magic like Gunha.

"I think I'll pass," Gunha said. Granted, there was always the exception.

"Hey bro, what do you think the chances of me winning are?" his brother asked.

"The same as Marisa to give up her thieving way of life," Gunha answered.

"Yes! Wait, how likely is that?" his brother asked.

"Significantly less likely than the chances of me ever getting laid," Gunha answered. His brother quickly shut his mouth and said no more.


	4. Fantastic Home Village of the East

**Toaru Majutsu no Index and all characters thereof are copyrighted by Kazuma Kamachi, Kiyotaka Haimura, ASCII Media Works and Dengeki Bunko. Please support the official release.**

**Touhou Project and all characters thereof are copyrighted by Team Shanghai Alice, ZUN and a Mystery man that can drink more beer than you, an Irish man and an Oni put together. Please support the official release.**

**Thanks to Kerreb17 for proof reading...or was it for having an awesome accent?**

* * *

><p>In a far eastern land, there was a generally quiet shrine in the mountains; and inside said shrine…<p>

"Guuuuunhaaaaaaa!" yelled a hysterical woman (naked?) as she launched a flurry of bullets composed of spiritual energy at a man who was the source of her anxiety. Said man fled at a running speed that no other human could attain through simple training.

"Reimu! Wait! I can explain!" the man screamed, trying NOT to get himself killed by the woman who was almost dead set on making his life become a pain-filled one.

He turned around to face her from a distance only for her gohei to smack him right on the forehead.

"Ow!" he yelped, the girl quickly lifting up the gohei again and brought it down, hard. "Ow!"

And rinse, repeat.

'How did this happen?' you ask?

**Minutes earlier:**

In the forest, Gunha had trekked down the path that was used to travel between the various settlements of the country. As such, as he was doing now, he would use it to travel between the human village and the Hakurei Shrine. When he reached the base of the staircase, he walked up the length of steps that led from the road to the Hakurei Shrine. He was here to pay his 'debt' to a girl who had saved his life on occasion.

Just the other day, Gunha was attacked by a small troupe of youkai; one insect, one sparrow, and a ball of darkness. If it was just one of them, Gunha may have stood a chance in a fight, but his life was hanging on a thread until the Hakurei shrine maiden, who had been making her rounds that day, attacked the predators and drove them off. But enough of that, he was returning the favor.

"Hello young Mr. Sogiita," said the turtle that was at the top of the steps.

"Hey Genji," Gunha said with a wave as he reached said steps.

"Hello, little Gunha," came from behind Gunha. He paused, that voice was not the voice of Reimu Hakurei or Genji, the latter of which was standing in front of him, and he highly doubted that either of them would call him "little".

The esper slowly turned around to see Mima.

"What…the…" Gunha was quizzical.

"Mima has taken refuge here and has declared herself the deity of this shrine," Genji said.

"Does Reimu know about this?"

"Yes."

"HUH!" His face was filled with shock.

"The previous god of this shrine hasn't been appearing before anyone, not even Reimu. So I decided that I could work in his stead." Mima clarified.

"I see…I would find that counterproductive."

"How so?" she asked.

"Reimu's recent actions alone may bring faith, but having someone with your reputation serve as the shrine's deity would only make it worsen."

"Oh? But it's working, isn't it? You're here to worship, are you not?"

"Uh, no. We've had more food than we could store for the season, if we eat it now we'll get pudgy and if we wait it'll rot." The boy gestured a bag he was carrying. "I'm sharing some of our produce with Ms. Hakurei as a token of gratitude."

"She's inside the main building," Genji said. Gunha nodded in appreciation before heading down the pathway that led from the entrance of the grounds to where the donation box was faithfully resting.

"Reimu~! I brought an offering~! It's perishable." Gunha said when he reached the donation box. There was no response.

Reimu would usually be happy to receive such a gift to the point where she'd burst out the door running. Curious, Gunha opened the Hakurei Shrine's sliding door only to see Reimu sprawled out on the floor, fast asleep. Her chest was loosely bound in cloth wrappings to maintain an amount of decency should her shrine maiden attire ever fall off or be torn. Gunha's eyes widened as the chest area that was covered seemed to be getting bigger underneath the wrappings. Gunha shook his head and saw that Reimu was rather normally chested, much to his slight disappointment, but she was a teenager and they would get bigger if she got pregnant.

…Where did that come from?

His eyes shifted to her lower region, it was clothed in nothing but her bloomers. Gunha's mind jolted as to the implications – nothing was between her bloomer and him - nothing was between her and her bloomers.

And in a second, nothing would be between her bare skin and him.

How tired was the shrine maiden? Tired enough not to feel when her bare bottom was exposed to the cool air, tired enough to not stir when her legs were parted, and tired enough to not awake when something warm and wet had positioned itself between her legs.

God knew how long it took before Gunha heard the cutest moan in his entire life. He lifted his head to see his savior's face flushed, drunk with her tongue hanging out slightly and her eyes half closed.

Wait a second…half?

This registered in Gunha's mind as Reimu's face slowly went from being lusty to a combination of shock, embarrassment, and blind fury.

Present time:

Gunha was on his back as an angry Reimu stood over him, pulling up her bloomers. His head had many lumps on it.

"Y-y-y-y-you raped me in my sleep, didn't you?" Reimu accused.

"I brought an offering, enough food to feed you till you're full!" Gunha yelled. Reimu paused for a moment.

"Do you think you can buy me off like some prostitute?"

"No! I approached you while you were asleep and my instincts took over! My actions just now and my offering are two different things! I'm sorry! I was wrong!" Gunha's words were getting to her, but it still wasn't enough. Reimu was still pissed. He had to think of something quick. "Come on! You're extremely cute!"

Not the best idea, Reimu's dominant emotion was embarrassment now. And in her moments of being flustered, she started whacking him again. Thank the gods she was physically weak as hell and that Gunha was made of sturdy stuff, coupled with the fact that the hitting was more defensive and less offensive.

"Stop it, Sophia!" spoke a familiar voice, this got Reimu to halt for a moment in confusion.

"Why don't you just forgive him and forget it? He IS one of your biggest donators, number 2 to be exact, and for your peace of mind, he didn't rape you." Spoke Mima.

"Tch, fine. But only because of tha-", Reimu paused and spun to look at Mima, "Wait, where the fuck were you!" Reimu demanded, yeah, Gunha wanted to know that too.

"Enjoying the show," Mima answered with a sadistic grin.

_"That bitch!"_ Reimu and Gunha thought.

"Well Reimu, this is the first time a boy has looked at you as a woman and pursued you. You might as well think of him as a potential suitor. You are the last Hakurei after all." Mima pointed out. "While the Miko themselves aren't allowed such relationships, once you become a full-fledged priestess of the Hakurei, then you can get married, have kids-"

"Him? A suitor? There's no woman in her right mind that would allow herself to be married to such a gutless, unmanly pervert!"

"Calm down Reimu. It's just-"

"I am NOT gutless!" Reimu and Mima paused and looked at Gunha who was angry.

"Right~" Reimu said mockingly. "So says the guy that screams like a little girl after peaking on women bathing."

Gunha cringed.

"Or taking advantage of innocent young women while they're asleep!" she added.

"I'll prove to you I've got guts! Take me with you next time you go solve an incident! I can at the very least take out weak youkai. I'm bound to be able to show you how gutsy I am! I'm at least more reliable than that self-proclaimed goddess.

"Keep dreaming, brat." Mima said, his claim amusing her.

"What makes you so sure you can do it?" Reimu asked.

"You're a human, and yet you can take on some of the stronger youkai in a real fight. If you're that powerful, then I can become that powerful too!"

"I'm of the Hakurei Bloodline-"

"Marisa is as strong as you, if not stronger and she has no special bloodline!" to which Mima nodded her head in agreement.

"She can use magic," Reimu pointed out. This was like a stab to Gunha's heart, but he wouldn't give in.

"I can find a way. I don't know how my ability works, but I'm sure I can find a way! I'm getting better at it…little by little." Gunha wanted to prove himself to the one that had saved his life. He refused to back down. Reimu let out a sigh in defeat.

"Well, if you're so determined, I won't stop you. But get ready fast."

"Why?"

"Because an incident just occurred," Reimu said half-jokingly.

"What!" Gunha jolted.

"Anyways, I'm changing, don't you DARE try to peek on me!"

Reimu slammed the door with Gunha and Mima outside.

Gunha sat down on the steps.

"…oh yes!" Gunha looked back. He'd talk through the door, Reimu should be able to hear him. "What happened during that Ruins incident?"

"Eh? That? Well…"

**1 long boring conversation later:**

"And Ms. Probability space hyper vessel lady says that she'll make me her guinea pig. Can you believe that?" Reimu said before biting into one of the pieces of fruit Gunha had brought her.

"What happened next?" Gunha, who was lounging on her porch, asked.

"Hmm…I beat her and made her grant me the wish!"

"Hmm…"

Reimu sighed as she lay on her back after finishing the fruit, "Wonder if there's anything amusing around…"

"Well, it is summer, so Youkai are less active as a whole an-"

As if to prove Gunha wrong, a bunch of youkai swarmed the shrine grounds.

"Reimu? REIMU!" Gunha shouted, causing the Shrine Maiden to sit up and see just that.

"Yer GP or yer HP!" shouted a Kedama as it rushed the boy.

Gunha, not wanting to have to deal with a Youkai in a one on more than one fight, rocketed himself at the youkai and slammed his fist into its face. If the thing had bones, Gunha might have broken some - probably not.

"GAAAAH!" the monster fell to the ground and rolled, screaming.

"What the heck is this!" Reimu demanded as she got up and grabbed her Gohei staff.

…

Between Reimu's danmaku and Gunha's continuous punching, the youkai that swarmed the shrine were either exterminated or had fled. Although Reimu could have taken care of the whole thing by herself considering the fact that she managed to defeat 23 or so youkai in the amount of time Gunha took down 1.

Gunha was at the entrance to the Shrine grounds when he noticed something on the road at the bottom of the stair case.

"Hey, they're coming back with reinforcements!" Gunha shouted to the Miko who was looking at the state of the shrine grounds.

"Hm... at this rate, the shrine will be ruined again."

"Something's wrong, youkai usually don't work in groups." Gunha said, although this was probably an obvious statement to the exterminator.

"Then something must be causing them to act weird…Looks like there's no other choice. I'll find the cause and crush it from there!"

Suddenly, an odd feeling struck them, Reimu more so. When dealing with the supernatural, you usually could tell when something was wrong based on the feelings each supernatural energy gave off, at least in Gensokyo. Gunha simply felt it….Reimu felt it coming from that the lake in the mountains behind the shrine. She smiled in excitement.

"I'll finally get to do some evil spirit extermination again!" this exclamation somehow took Gunha by surprise. Although it was nice to see Reimu's smiling face, the fact that she was so eager to kill was kind of discomforting for some reason. She must really enjoy her job and that was a good thing since it was what she basically made her living…kind of. "You were planning on coming too, right? Don't slow me down!"

With that Reimu hopped onto Genji's back (Holy crap, was he there this whole time?) who started levitating into the air, picking up speed until they started zooming in the direction of the powerful energy. Gunha wiggled his feet out and took off after the two.

…

Through the meadows, Gunha followed Reimu on foot while she rode on Genji's back, flying through the sky.

Coming at them was a swarm of youkai, particularly of the ghost-like variant. How were they ghost-like? Ghosts usually aren't killed by being simply hit with magical cards unless said cards were simply that awesome: a possibility Gunha dreamed up in the depths of his own fantasy. But that would have to wait as every so often a youkai would get past Reimu, and on occasion, said youkai would be near the ground. This meant "go time" for Gunha.

Slam! And Gunha's fist flew into the monster's face. However, while Gunha may have been strong for a teenager, the damage was little enough that the youkai automatically started to recover from it.

"Mah boi, you call that a punch!" the youkai asked as it tried to hit Gunha, only to miss and be countered. Rinse, repeat, and the youkai was eventually down for the count. Then Gunha had to chase after Reimu who was still slicing through the youkai swarm like butter. As Gunha reached the section right below Reimu, he saw a youkai who was emitting a fair amount of power that was nearby, and within Reimu's sights.

"Hey there, you said you were guessing, but what are you looking for?" the youkai asked in a sing song voice. As Gunha got closer and closer, he could tell that she had red eyes, long red hair, was wearing a yellow cap, and had a white bow in her hair. She also wore green and yellow clothing and carried a baton.

"Ah, there you are, youkai." Reimu's voice somehow hinted love. Love for her job?

"Who's a youkai?" the youkai asked. Wait, was she serious? Maybe this was one of those oddball youkai. Like the kind that don't attack humans nor thought to. Gunha recalled such youkai only being legends. Like that one youkai named Ao, a creature whose appearance was so terrible that full grown men who could face off against vampires and not even falter would cry like little babies. Apparently it hated the idea of eating humans. This girl may have been just like this Ao, or she could be the kind that didn't know that she was supposed to eat humans.

"I was looking for youkai." Reimu answered,

"What for?"

"Obliteration," Reimu said sweetly.

"Oh, I see. Well then, good luck." the youkai said, starting to sweat. "If you'll excuse me, I'll be on my way now."

"You know that I'm talking about you, of course."

"Wow, you're pretty sharp. Of course, I'm not human. But..." What? Was she a youkai that simply didn't attack humans unless provoked? If so then Gunha was about to see the ugly side of Reimu, although he'd probably still want to tap it anyways if given the chance.

"There isn't a single shrine maiden that doesn't exterminate youkai! Prepare yourself!" Reimu shouted, brandishing her Gohei and ready to kill.

"Ahaha, you shouldn't underestimate me just because I'm the first stage boss! I'll bang, shoot, and pop your head off!"

"Please don't, I don't want to receive blowjobs from a severed head." Gunha thought.

And Reimu's skirmish with Orange began.

Meanwhile, outside of the human village:

"Kirisame! Over here!" shouted a no name. A red haired boy came running. The area was swarming with rabid fairies. The red-head threw some sort of holy hand grenade, blowing said fairies all to smithereens.

"Hey Marisa, I got 8!" he yelled to the ordinary magician who was a few yards away.

"Nice cuz!" Marisa answered.

"How many did you get?"

"Thirties!" she looked towards the lake, "Hmm... what's this magics powers?" the possessor of a large capacity of fierce magic power was tempted by a vast magical force - a temptation not easily broken. Intent on making this power hers, she mounted her broom and took to the air, headed towards the source of the power. "Cleans ups for me's da-ze!"

Her cousin snarled at being both bested and put to work by the magician.

Back with Gunha and Reimu:

Gunha felt kind of sorry for the youkai Reimu had beaten too a pulp and sealed. She didn't seem to have been causing any trouble at all. Was the girl he was interested in that blood thirsty? Was it something he'd have to deal with if they ended up going out? Oh wait, that would be assuming he even had a chance at going out with her – silly boy. Gunha's train of thought was cut short when they reached the lake.

One made of blood.

"Gunha, I have to take care of the incident, and Genji can only carry one person at a time, so if you're not going to swim it, you should probably go back to the village!" Reimu called from above.

Gunha looked at the blood...a lake of it. In comics from the outside world and in people's fictional stories, you'd only see a body of blood as something like red water. But if it was before you, there was the smell. And where did all this blood come from? Youkai usually bled, but it was rarely red blood: acid, green blood, black blood, sparkles even. Gunha suddenly felt like throwing up. He wouldn't dare cross this.

He was going to give up and go home...

_"Give up? Like a fearful child? No, I can't. No, if I don't do this, I'll just have another thing to add to my list of cowardly actions. Blood is just like water, only thicker. If I can just remind myself of that, than all I need is to swim harder! I can do this! I can SWIM IT!"_ Gunha stripped down to his loincloth and ran for the lake. After the initial dive, Gunha did not dare open his mouth or eyes while "underwater". As sad as it was, he had to keep going forward and open his eyes only when "above water". This was going to be rough.

...

He used the swimming style that people from the outside world would recognize as the Freestyle.

_Head above the blood, open eyes to see the island in the middle of the lake and mouth to inhale, head below the blood. Head above the blood, open eyes to see the island in the middle of the lake and mouth to exhale, head below the blood._

Repeat. And several minutes, he was almost there.

_"I'm doing it! I'm-"_ Gunha's thought turned sour as he accidentally inhaled blood. "HUAAGHAGH!"

Pain of not being able to breath, Gunha felt his lungs clogging as he was nearing the shore. Could he make it before he suffocated?

Yes, he beached on the island's edge, and frantically crawled up and out of the blood. He started coughing up the blood to clear his lungs. Then the smell finally got to him, he started to throw up a second time. Blood in surprisingly large quantities came from his mouth and onto the ground. He sat there panting.

"Gunha!" he heard a familiar voice. He saw Reimu dismounting Genji and running towards him.

"Heya Reimu~" Gunha said weakly.

"There's courage, and there's stupidity! What did you think you were doing!"

"I'm okay, I'm no longer afraid of a little blood," he laughed weakly.

"You are NOT okay!" Reimu practically dismissed the fact that Gunha was naked save the loincloth. Would that show how worried Reimu was?

"I can hang back if need be, but I can still accompany you,"

"Like hell you're accompanying me! Why are you so determined to follow me!"

"Because...you called me gutless...I...don't want to be gutless..." Gunha rolled onto his back.

"Okay! Okay! You're not gutless!"

"It's not just you...everyone...in the village...thought I was a little sissy...after I was punished...by sensei. I want...to prove...I'm not..."

"...fine! But I swear there will be hell to pay if you drag me down!" Reimu huffed. "Get some rest first. I need a breather anyways after exterminating that vampire. So rest up too."

"I will," Gunha rested there for a moment.

After the heat settled, Reimu had made it clear to Gunha not to get near her with his nakedness. He understood; he did after all put his head between her thighs at the first chance he had, any girl would be cautious after that happened. She also asked that he not stand in front of her. Whether she would want to look at his ass or not (most likely not), she had an image as the Shrine Maiden to keep. Granted, she was flying and he was walking, so that made it difficult NOT to lag behind.

...

The area around them was red rock; they seemed to be going down a tunnel.

"When did we end up underground?" Gunha asked.

"Hmmm...dunno. I think there was some giant hole in the ground or something." Reimu answered. "But it is a good question. Where is this..."

There answer was given to them by a girl who had yellow eyes, yellow hair, wore a pink hat with a red ribbon, wore a dark red and pink dress and carried a curved scythe.

"This is the entrance to the mansion on the boundary line between the dream world and the real world... I'm the guardian here, Elly." The girl introduced herself. Gunha blinked...lo and behold; there was a mansion in front of them.

"And?"

"Yes?" the girl looked at the trio quizzically.

"We're going to fight, right?"

"W-well, yes." the Elly started sweating. "It's been an amazing day today. Humans seldom come here, but...You're the second one today." Reimu was shocked to hear this.

"Huh! Who's the other one?"

"It was a magician." Elly admitted.

"Marisa...It must be her," Reimu came to the most logical conclusion on who it was. "So, what happened to her?"

"Um...well...you see...I...that is...well..." Elly fought back her embarrassment.

"She forced her way in, huh?" Reimu asked as she gave a rather decent assessment based on the possibility of it actually being Marisa.

"I couldn't help it! It's been a while since the last time I fought!" Elly yelled defensively, although embarrassed to admit it. "A-anyway, I won't lose to you! I'm serious this time!"

Gunha sat against a rock. He felt tired from all of that walking and fighting.

"Weak," he thought, "I need a method in becoming stronger. Or learn how to fly..."

He watched the fight between Reimu and Elly ensue in the form Danmaku or a Danmaku-esque fighting style. The lights did seem rather pretty...somewhat...he was starting to understand why women and youkai liked it.

He noted how Reimu had to dodge between bullets, even though there were so many. As the makeshift battle field started to be flooded by bullets, Gunha began to wonder what kind of mental strength Reimu had.

"I would have broken a long time ago..." After a few minutes, Reimu won. Elly crashed to the ground.

"I've been beat up, physically and mentally." Elly groaned.

"Alright, let's keep moving." Reimu called back to Gunha, she turned her head. "But why did Marisa..." Gunha, having rested enough, stood up and went to follow Reimu...But Elly was suddenly in front of him.

"What?" Gunha asked as he put his fists up.

"Sorry, but you can't go any further down this road." Elly said to him in a solemn tone.

"And why not?" Gunha demanded.

"This is only the trial version so it's not ready yet." was Elly's answer.

"What the hell does that mean?" Gunha demanded, suddenly Elly's body looked squiggly. His vision was becoming blurry. "What's going on!" Everything was becoming disproportionate. Reimu's retreating head and ass looked as small as fists while her body looked like a balloon.

And everything turned black.

…

**Mayohiga - the village of apparitions...**

...the border village, the village that exists in dreams: that was what it was. If you came to Gensokyo via the outside world, there were usually two places you'd end up, the Hakurei Shrine and this village. There were others, but those were the two primary spots.

It was the home of several, or rather few, youkai however. And humans were rarely ever seen there at all. Speaking of the youkai though...

A man, looking to be in his early twenties with brown hair and matching eyes that wore a white pair of dress pants, a light blue dress shirt, and a dark belt that was etched with a white kanji, was sitting in a room that appeared as a study. He was currently reading a fictional novel on a laptop computer.

_The first woman leaned over to vomit once again. She waited for the world to stop spinning. When it did, she marched over the second woman, intending to do as much damage as she could in her state. As she approached, the second woman coughed and weakly held up one hand as if to ward her off._

_"Wait," she croaked. "Stop. Uncle."_

"Dude, after what you did to her servants, do you honestly think that she'd stop?" the man asked as he examined the online work on his laptop. "Although I have to hand it to the author, this was a pretty awesome fight scene. I'll leave a review…" and so he started typing.

_I came across a grammar error, don't remember where._

_Also, let me say that the fight scenes were AWESOME._

_Not sure how to make of the ending, though. Breaking the 4__th__ wall and all._

"And send," before he could do anything else after hitting the send button, he felt something…

Someone fed their voice into the magic that was in the air, realigning it to carry a cry through the whole width of the building, if not through that entire region. It echoed through the hallways and back. The floor trembled with the power of that voice. Had anyone been in the building other than the receivers and the sender, they would not understand what it was that they heard, dismissing the noise for…something else. The man didn't know what since he never bothered to ask anyone what it sounded like to them.  
>The magic did not convey the sender's words clearly, but it conveyed both the intention and its emotion.<p>

"_Come to me, my Shikigami."_

Several running footsteps could be heard as those who were called sped towards the source of command. She looked to be that of a human woman, long blond hair with purple eyes and in her late teens. She was wearing a pink nightgown as she was currently in her bed, merely sitting up since she just awoke.

The man was the first to appear in the room, already on one knee.

The second to appear in the room was a woman with yellow eyes and short blond hair. She was wearing a pink two-tailed hat with many amulets. Her hat's tails were supported by fox ears underneath and she had nine fox tails. Her dress was dark blue and white, the fore front having a white kanji embroidered into it.

"Yes, Master!" they said in unison. The woman they were before looked around the room a little through her bed hair which surprisingly was still beautiful (well, in some people's opinions anyways).

"...Where is Midori?" the woman in bed casually asked, eyeing the blank spot where the one that didn't appear probably would have been.

"You gave her leave to visit her family on Youkai Mountain, master." the fox woman answered.

"Oh yes...I did...Anyways, I sensed a disturbance in the Force. Someone from inside our world has breached the border in a very…peculiar manner. I would like one of you to investigate and, if need be, to deal with it. The location of the phenomena is currently at the human village." And promptly, the woman fell back asleep: so it seemed, anyways.

"...You do it," the man was the first to speak, trying to use his deep voice to make himself sound commanding. This did not sway his coworker.

"What? I'm busy training Chen," the fox woman replied.

"Training? More like playing dress up,"

"What about you? You're already done with the laundry."

"I want to enjoy my break."

"At least what I'm doing on my break time is productive."

"You're a bitch."

"You're an adult manga reject."

"Oh, and you aren't, Foxgirl?"

The two of them stared at each other, sparks between their eyes.

"How do we decide this?"

"A fight?" she asked.

"Don't you remember WHY I am 'Blue' and you are 'Indigo'?"

"In that case I can order you do it."

"My master did not give you the authority to order me to around."

"Danmaku?"

"You can fly, I can only defy gravity."

"What about a race?"

"50 wins, 0 losses. I'm game~" he said with a smirk. The woman quickly changed her mind.

"What about Rock-Paper-Scissors?"

"...Fine. Rock-Paper-Scissors, right here, right now."

The two brought their hands out in the shape of fists and moved them up and down in unison.

"Rock..."

"Paper..."

"Scissors!"

The woman had a "rock" and the man had a "scissors". The man's eye twitched.

"You..." he started, "How did you know! You should have picked paper!"

"I notice that most men always pick Rock first, so naturally I'd pick paper. But knowing that you've been with the Master longer than I have, you would know that someone would pick paper to counter your stereotypical rock. So if you'd use scissors, then I'd need to use rock to beat you. The rest was chance." the fox woman answered with a smirk.

The man stood there with his mouth agape.

"Fine!" he threw up his hands and turned around, "I'll check the disturbance!"

It was not seconds before he was putting on a white suit jacket while walking out the door.

**Location Unknown: Time unknown:**

"_Subject 2354634, Entry 1:_

_Subject was said to have been first seen in the middle of Central Square at 1 Pm, naked. His first crime was streaking. His second was breaking into and stealing clothing from a local clothing shop._

_3pm, he had been seen sexually harassing several women, ranging the ages of 15-24. Police intervention was requested when vigilante actions proved ineffective._

_4pm, police attempted to apprehend the subject, methods which have been deemed "over the top" such as use of combat shotguns and assault rifles proved to have minimal or no effect._

_5pm, a locale shrine maiden had engaged the subject in combat and succeeded in exhausting subject who was then apprehended by the police who were available and brought in._

_On a side note: the police will seek to question the shrine maiden on her ability to have done so._

_Notes on subject's physical aspects:_

_1: He appears to be a male Japanese teenager. He has black hair and eyes._

_2: He is capable of running faster than Olympic gold medalists, and appears to have more stamina as well._

_3: He is effectively bullet proof even after being stripped naked, meaning that tranquilizers are useless. He is to be kept him restrained._

_4: He speaks an obsolete form of Japanese._

_Subject 2354634, Entry 2:_

_Subject refuses to cooperate, and says he'll do so unless we give him porn. We will await the higher ups' decision on this matter._

_Subject 2354634, Entry 3:_

_Subject is suffering from a narcotic infliction, and is having delusions of simplicity. He claims to be a farmer's son from "the human village". He is also having delusions of fantasy, evident that he is claiming to have been in the middle of a fight with the grim reaper when he appeared here._

_Subject also demands to see more porn if we want his further cooperation. This may just be due to his upbringing._

_There is one question that he still refuses to answer…"_

The dark murky room had no one in it save the apprehended criminal. They didn't have anyone in the room, as he was being questioned through a speaker and a camera on the ceiling.

"I will ask you again…what…is…your…name?"

"Dante," the chained up and battered Gunha answered with a smug look on his face.


	5. Between 4 and 5: Perversions

Gunha's Father is voiced by _Kerreb17_, Marisa's Cousin (the red haired friend) is voiced by _Demon Neko Shen_, Gunha's mother is voiced by _How do you spell Carnage_.

I don't know why any of them they agreed to it either.

Special thanks to _Kerreb17_ for proof reading it.

**-Jail/prison somewhere in a city in Japan – Near future.**

Finding himself in a foreign world, Gunha had effectively gone insane. There was no magic energy in the air, and everything looked scientifically advanced. This realization and the surprise that followed were what nearly did him in. But his mind was sturdier than that, as it started making a recovery before he permanently broke. The first part of his original self that came back was his instincts as a pervert; he looked up the skirt of every woman he could find who looked like the young women he reveled in back at home. People started attacking him to make him stop, but it seemed rather useless since he was stronger than everyone and their weapons couldn't break through his Aurora Guard, which he had just named right now. Of course, this was all until a green haired girl that somehow reminded him of Reimu appeared and promptly beat his ass down. What seemed to be the local authorities bound him with something that clearly wasn't rope—he could easily break out of rope—and threw him into a dark murky room where they asked him questions that seemed ridiculous.

All sorts of interrogation methods were used on Gunha, and all of them proved to be useless. Some of them _were _painful, however, to the ears.

"I'm a Barbie girl! In a Barbie world~!" came from the device playing music before him.

_"Oh gods, someone make it stop!"_ Gunha thought.

Eventually, the police decided to try a more humane approach for getting Gunha to cooperate with them.

Now he was in a chair, at a table and surrounded by armed guards. It's not like they could stop him if he somehow managed to break the bindings…

…he squirmed for a minute...

_"…okay that was impossible."_ Gunha thought as he basically failed in getting the restraints off.

"Sorry I'm late you guys. Car trouble," the interrogator said as he entered the room and sat down, looking up at Gunha who was sitting across from him. "Now look, kid, we know you needed the pants badly, but there was no reason to-"

"Eat shit and die!" Gunha interrupted suddenly and loudly. Yeah, he was still pissed about their previous interrogation methods, as well as his life being in a prison cell since he'd rather be outside doing…just about anything else. Hell, he'd rather be helping his flower-loving bastard of a brother with his flowers than be here.

"Ok, you're an asshole," the interrogator commented with prejudice.

"Bite me, banana man!" Gunha retaliated; the interrogator raised an eyebrow at the choice of words.

"Well that doesn't even make sense."

"I'll make you make sense!" Gunha threatened.

The interrogator sighed in defeat of Gunha's possible insanity, "Fine, whatever…"

"I want my phone call!" This was something odd since Gunha spent his whole life in Gensokyo. How would he know that people in the outside world got a phone call when they were arrested? Of course, nobody there besides him would know how he knew. In fact, it was probably better if you didn't ask. The interrogator resumed.

"Alright but first we need you to-" and he was interrupted.

"I know my rights you gutless bastards! Give me my phone call!"

"Geez, look, all we're trying to do here is-"

Gunha interrupted again, but this time him by making a sound that scientifically could not have been produced by human vocal cords. It was loud, annoying, and painful to listen to and resembled a boat horn mixed with a swarm of hyperactive insects on crack.

"Oh my God! How is he even doing that? Somebody stop him!" A generic police mook kicked over Gunha's chair and the boy fell to the ground. The dark murky room was sudden filled with silence. "Ugh, is it over?" On cue, Gunha resumed making that unholy noise which was much to the interrogator's extreme displeasure. "Uh that's it! I've had enough of this; give him the chair!"

Gunha was hit across the face with a chair, shattering on impact while knocking him out.

**-Gensokyo: Human Village, Sogiita residence, present time.**

Gunha awoke in his room.

_"THAT was a messed up dream…or was it even a dream?" _he thought as he sat up. _"I'm back home. Odd…"_

"GUNHA!" The boy jolted upright when these words came abruptly from behind him. He turned to see his mother running at him and suddenly hugging him. "You're awake! Thank Minoriko, you're awake!"

"Ah…what happened?" Gunha said, slowly wrapping his arms around his mother.

"Ah, yes," his mother let him go and sat down. "The Hakurei shrine maiden came here, carrying you on her turtle…when we asked what had happened she simply said that you collapsed while following her and so she brought you back here."

"I…see," Gunha answered, "Maybe I was just tired from all that swimming. If so, I lack guts."

"What swimming?" his mother asked.

"Oh, I followed the Ms. Hakurei because I wanted to see how she went about solving incidents. You should have seen how gutsy she was! She fought a frigging army of youkai! An ARMY! Eventually she flew across the lake of blood. I was feeling like it was a challenge of guts, so I swam across it! I passed the trial of swimming it, but I lost because I passed out sometime after I finished!" Gunha pumped his fist into the air. "I am awesome because I swam across the lake of blood!"

The mother's face turned a little white. "You…swam across the lake of blood? THE LAKE OF BLOOD!"

"Yeah, is that a problem?"

"There is having guts and there is being stupid, my foolish child! And THAT was a part of the latter! Ever since you met that shrine maiden, you've been acting more and more reckless! "

"Huh? Really?" Gunha asked.

"When Akyuu was attacked by Naruto because it turned out that he was a pedophile rapist, you carelessly jumped in and had gotten yourself beaten up to near death! The only thing you were saying for the next week was _"I don't need a reason to help someone!"_, and we thought you had suffered permanent brain damage!"

Gunha merely blinked at what his mother said, utterly confused.

"…was that off screen? Because I don't remember the author of this fan-fiction writing anything like that."

"Don't break the forth wall, young man!" his mother yelled.

"Yes, mom!" Gunha squeaked as he recoiled.

"Good that you understand. Now, as I was saying, your exposure to the Hakurei Shrine Maiden has been bad for your health. Even taking you along with her when she goes to work..."

"Actually, she was against it."

"All the more reason to ground you," his mother said. There was a long pause.

"WHAT!"

"Until your father can come up with a better solution you will be forbidden to approach any girl that you find attractive! ESPECIALLY the shrine maiden!"

Gunha's face paled, that would be a long time considering his father...

**-Meanwhile:**

Gunha's father was running down the plains, jumping a dozen feet into the air. His attire was that of a red cap and shirt with blue overalls. His mission was to get across the stretch of land and take down a flag at a castle on the far side. All while crushing giant walking mushrooms and ferocious turtles by jumping on them, and burning man eating plants popping out of pipes!

"It's-a me!" his father said as he grabbed a star shaped object that was glowing different colors.

**-Meanwhile at the Kirisame household:**

Gunha's father was running around in circles with an odd look on his face; he was high on drugs. Gunha's red-headed friend was there too, watching said man.

"Now I know NOT to eat the mushrooms my cousin gave me," the Kirisame boy said to himself.

**-Human Village: Alley Way (The next day)**

"Tada~" the red haired boy said as he presented a pair of bloomers. Gunha twitched as he took in a whiff of the air from the undergarments. From five feet away, he could recognize the smell of when he had his face between the Shrine Maiden's bare thighs. Those were, without a doubt, Reimu's bloomers.

"...H-how!" Gunha asked, "You didn't do something underhanded to get them, did you?" He always did hate it when people fought dirty.

"Pfft! Don't you know who I am, bro! I taught my cousin Marisa how to steal! And now she's considered one of the best thieves the human species produced! She might surpass me soon, but as of this moment, I'm as good as her when I'm not even trying to steal!"

It was immediately before he said that when Marisa became a better thief than him. Of course we're not going to see it since it doesn't have anything to do with this plot.

"So, do you have the hallucinogenic mushrooms or what?" the red haired boy asked.

"Tch," Gunha was not impressed by his friend's criminal ways, but he'd bear with it since it meant getting Reimu's bloomers. And it was not like he wasn't one to talk considering that he was participating in this transaction. He took out a mushroom and handed it out to his friend. "Here, this was all I was able to get from my father. I explained this whole thing to him, thankfully he didn't seem to care that I was selling his drugs for bloomers."

Marisa's cousin blinked at this; usually deals like this were busted by the human village's police unit once an adult got wind of it, especially when it had people like his mother's sister, Kotohime, running it. Then the possibility occurred to him: something that Gunha spoke as he thought it.

"Personally, I think he was high," Gunha practically confirmed his friend's suspicion.

"Well, I have a present for Marisa, she's been dying to get her hands on these types of mushrooms."

"By the way, are you REALLY good at stealing without even trying?" Gunha asked out of curiosity.

"Oh yeah! I mean, look at these bloomers! I snatched them right off a woman while I was walking in the market district. I didn't even notice that I had them until I entered the alley way just now!" He was holding up a second pair of bloomers. This pair Gunha recognized but not entirely as he couldn't match the smell with any faces. Granted, the whole matching the face with the smell of the bloomers thing only worked with Reimu since she was the first woman whose legs he managed to get his face between long enough to memorize. Well it worked once with Kotohime before, but ever since she got married, he never bothered to attempt to sexually harass her again out of respect for her and her husband.

"But where did these second pair of bloomers come from?" Gunha asked himself.

The grounds started to shake as something was running towards them at full speed. The duo looked in the direction that the sound of heavy and fast footsteps could be heard. Anyone who had the misfortune of witnessing an Oni in combat, or even fighting an Oni, either had a bowel movement on the spot or they fled. The reason was that the woman who was running at Sogiita and Kirisame had horns similar to one.

"KI-RI-SA-ME!" screamed their enraged history teacher as she charged them in her Beast form.

"Keine Sensei!" Gunha asked in shock. In hindsight, he did see these bloomers (or similar ones) at the Hot Springs before the Ruins Incident. It made total sense.

"GIVE ME BACK MY BLOOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEERS!" Keine yelled as she rammed her head into the red head. And with an explosion of force, he was tossed into the air. So far that he almost seemed to twinkle like a star when he reached the peak height of the throw.

"Is...he's gonna live?" Gunha asked worriedly.

"Hah?~ Ya want some of this!" Keine looked at Gunha with a death glare.

Gunha then recalled the whole thing about Keine's situation on being a Were-Youkai (or Half-Beast, the term you used depended on whether you followed traditions or mainstream new-age fashions. He wasn't sure which was which and there were other complications in who found which one to be more offensive). Most Were-Youkai were not to be feared. Although they did seem odd at times, Were-Youkai were usually the same save the sudden appearance of youkai traits (the ones that didn't clash with the human traits). As a result, so long as you weren't acting weird-ed out or like one of the "pro-pure-blooded human extremists", then there was nothing to fear. However, it was a little different with Keine; she would spend 30 days muddling with history, and have to undo changes and fix any mistakes she made on the night of the full moon with her beast form. This placed huge amounts of stress on her in that one day and would sometimes if she had made many errors or did a lot of altering of history during the 30 day period...

...or was it that she had to catch up on correcting papers? Gunha didn't even know any more. Either way, the result was that full moons usually made Keine grouchy, probably due to work. And it was obvious that this was such a day. Gunha's red-headed friend stealing her underwear obviously made it worse.

And so Gunha tried to think of a way to appease her...

"Who knew that having horns and a tail could make you look so cute," Gunha said. Although he honestly thought that, he only said it to save himself. He hoped that it didn't backfire, causing her to attack out of embarrassment or defense in the belief that he was a pervert…oh wait, he was one.

"Well shit," he thought. But instead of an initial reaction, there was a long pause.

"Huh?" Keine asked. She was slightly embarrassed that she was called cute in her transformed state. She was happy, but more so surprised. These plus the initial confusion, which almost immediately left, replaced her rage.

"Eh...sorry, I promised I wouldn't hit on you anymore, didn't I?" Gunha asked sheepishly.

"No, you promised that you wouldn't spy on me or any other woman bathing. But student/teacher relationships ARE generally looked down upon," until the student becomes legal at least.

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-Anywaaaaays! Is there a reason that you're stressed?" Gunha asked to change the subject.

"Hah? I'm stressed? Um...I don't feel stressed. But if I had to answer...it would be because of the sudden appearance of demons."

"Oh, oka-wait...demons?" Gunha's eyes widened.

"Yes, we've been having some problems with demons attacking human outposts. They're also apparently attacking other youkai, the ones that get along with humans. So I've been relocating the village several times now while the hunting parties have been out investigating."

"...Demons?" Gunha blinked. If he recalled correctly, then the presence of demons was a very bad sign no matter the situation.

"Yes, I've been in the middle of negotiating the release of several imprisoned people who I believe can help us deal with the demons, but the mayor thinks that, outside my job as one of the protectors of the village and as a school teacher, I shouldn't have much knowledge in other fields such as demon extermination. As a result, I have been deemed unauthorized to allow the release of said criminals." Keine's face turned away from Gunha, closing her eyes and sighing as she did so.

"Well, you have work to do, so...I'll get your bloomers back for you!" Gunha pumped his fist. Helping people was its own reward in Gunha's eyes. Being rewarded was usually better, but he wanted to help regardless.

"Ah? Really?" Keine brightened up. Gunha crossed his arms and nodded. With a brief smile, Keine turned to leave, waving as she did so. "Thank you! Please hurry, though! I heard that the extra-fast crow tengu isn't the only one that spreads nasty rumors while taking scandalous photos!"

Gunha smiled to himself as he turned around. He had been hiding both Reimu's AND Keine's bloomer's behind his back during his entire conversation with Keine.

"I'll give her back her bloomers...after I'm done masturbating to them!" he thought as a perverted grin came to his face. Then a realization came to him; what Keine said about there being more than the one extra fast crow tengu was who spreads nasty rumors while taking scandalous photos…more than one Tengu does that…more than one youkai whose intelligence surpasses that of a human's (supposedly) and whose speed is unmatched by any being in all of Gensokyo, whether it is human, youkai, god or fairy…more than one of that species of youkai did such a thing. That information sank in. Gunha spun and ran in the direction that Keine had headed in. Gunha's tried to hold in his expletive, but his mistake was all too much for him to remain silent about. "-"

**-Gensokyo: Human Village, the slammer**

Reimu was inside a jail cell, she had that appearance that indicated that she had seen better days, and yes, could have seen worse days. She lifted her head up at the sound of someone walking into the room, probably outside the cell.

"Wells if it ain't Reimus Hakureis!" came an unusually chipper voice from outside the cell. But it was failiar to Reimu, and so was the blond hair.

"Marisa? What are you doing here?" the Shrine Maiden of Paradise asked.

"I coulds asks yous the same things."

"Oh, this? I was charged with shop lifting and unnecessary brutality against humans who were causing trouble."

"Again!" Marisa asked in a tone indicating that she was slightly appalled.

"Yeah, I know, I know..." Reimu answered as she nodded her head.

"I's hears yous, woulds haves dones the same things. Bads enoughs that the youkais cause problems that cans ends withs the deaths of us alls."

"And half of them have been actual attempts on my life too!"

"Tells me about its! I'm heres to lets yous outs."

"Kickass! They just gave me free breakfast like thirteen minutes ago!"

"Yeahs, the village's jailings system's bulls, yous cans gets aways with anythings! I's evens stoles your bloomers on the ways over heres!"

"So that's where they wen-HEY!"

"Yeahs, I losts thems thoughs."

"Damn it! Those are expensive!"

"Yeah, my's bads. But if it makes yous feels any betters, mines were stolen toos –de ze!"

"Wait…we have bloomer thieves!"

**-Meanwhile in a Different Alley:**

Two hooded people were secretly meeting with each other. They had stocking masks labeled the kanji for "Sin".

"I'll trade you a pair of Maria's used Bloomers for a pair of Yuuka's Bloomers," One said.

"Bitchin'," the other one answered.

**-Back with Gunha: Human village.**

"Damn it, I will not lose sensei! My burning spirit will give me the speed and energy I need to find her and give her back her bloomers!" Gunha said to himself as he ran through the village, causing everyone he ran by to stop and stare. He could swear that he had heard them asking themselves if the boy from the Sogiita family really was a bloomer thief.

After three hours of searching to no avail, it was official that he had lost her.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRG!" he let out a yell of frustration through his clenched teeth. He looked around the area he was in,putting a hand on his chest and inhaling deeply. "Okay, I need to calm down...if I can't find Keine Sensei, I'll just masturbate to her bloomers like I originally intended and return them to her next time I go to school. Yeah, I can do tha-" his thought process was stopped when he saw a familiar person.

She was standing at the corner to one of the village's intersections. She seemed to be lost as she was looking back and forth.

As the image of the girl painted itself into Gunha's head, a smile usually donned by a rapist could be seen gradually taking shape.

She was a small girl, looking to be about fifteen at the oldest. She had blue eyes and teal hair. Anyone that saw the bug-like antennae on her head would know her to be a youkai, or a cosplayer—the latter was rare in Gensokyo, as those are usually rare cases among outsiders who are already rare cases to begin with. The girl was also wearing a white shirt with stylized short sleeves, a black cape with red on inner side and knee-length blue baggy shorts.

Gunha's smile reached full size as he edged closer and closer to her.

"Let me see...where is the location on the map?" the girl asked herself as she looked down at the map she was carrying, completely unaware of the young man, who somehow looked like a psychopathic serial rapist just from his smile, standing right behind her.

Said man reached out with his arms and wrapped them around her.

"WRIGGLE!" he held her to his body in an embrace. She was thrashing wildly as her instincts told her to escape.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"You're so cute!" He squealed as he rubbed his face against hers, scaring her even more.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Gunha had lifted the girl off her feet while wildly snuggling her, he spun around as he embraced this little girl for whom he held great affection. Of course, this affection was not to be returned as Gunha was practically choking the youkai girl. Her screams fell on death ears as he continued to grapple her and swing her around.

A crunch sound could be heard, causing Gunha to freeze; the girl's screaming was gone, and he felt both wetness and a sharp pain in his hand.

Wriggle has bitten him and broke several of his fingers.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Gunha screamed as he tried to shake Wriggle off of his hand.

Anyone that was in the area that saw the whole thing and probably thought "Oh, that Sogiita boy again, failing to molest women who can thoroughly kick his ass." Other people may have thought "Thank the gods he's only going after women who can put him in his place. I don't want my daughter/sister raped by him." Those who didn't know Gunha but knew Wriggle thought "Oh my, maybe bug youkai aren't so weak after all." And finally, those who knew neither probably thought "Oh my, the springtime of youth."

Regardless, nobody helped him. Karma was a bitch like that.

**-The Boys are Apologizing...**

The duo was sitting on a bunch of rocks that made convenient outdoor chairs. Wriggle sighed to herself, leaning back with her head tilted upward and eyes closed. It was a sort of relaxation action if you will.

"Geez! It's one thing to sneak up on me-" something that could only happen in an area filled with humans given that her antenna would have picked him out in the forests, "-but jumping me like that is unacceptable! I honestly thought that you were going to eat me!"

It was an instinct of hers that she maintains as an insect. Of course she thought something worse was going to happen when she realized that the human boy wasn't trying to eat her. It was predictable that she would defend herself regardless.

"Eh, sorry. I find it hard to control myself around you," the teen said in response.

"W-What?" Wriggle said in surprise, look at the boy. While she should have figured that by now, the boy shouldn't say things so outright, especially in public.

"Huh. Speaking of which," Gunha lowered his voice as his eyes lit up, "maybe you can help me?" Wriggle blinked quizzically at Gunha. "You see, I managed to get my hands on two pairs of bloomers."

Wriggle was about to question why Gunha had bloomers in his possession. Hell, she questioned why Gunha was telling her this. "You stole them, didn't you?"

"Short version, yes; Long version, no. But the point is that I found their smell arousing and had decided to masturbate to them."

"So? What's your problem?" Wriggle mentally came to the conclusion that if Gunha told his father or brother, his mother would find out and then make Gunha return said bloomers. Wriggle, on the other hand, cared little about it. "Masturbate to them."

"Yes, but now that I think about it...it somehow feels like I'm trying to date two different women at the same time, like a...like a...two timer! And from what I've seen, two timers are ungutsy!"

Wriggle figured that it was not the initial moral issue that Gunha was worried about, but the moral issue inside of it.

"Hah~, I see what your problem is. You want me to help you figure out who is better so that you'll only masturbate to that one woman's bloomers?" Wriggle asked with a guess.

"Exactly!" Gunha said, happy that Wriggle understood.

"I'd say to date the one that is more receptive of you."

"That's the thing, they are both somewhat receptive of me-" this of course was not including how they felt about his incidents of sexual harassment, "-but they're rather equal. If I spend equal time with them, not only am I decreasing my own chances of actually making it with either of them, but I also might decrease their chances of finding someone they like as well! And if I make it with both of them but they both discover each other, then I'll lose both~."

"Heh," Wriggle was slightly amused by how the conversation went from Gunha's obsession with Wriggle's cuteness to his love life. She wasn't upset as they weren't romantically interested in each other. Besides, Wriggle had enough admirers among humans, youkai and even her own insect legion. She didn't need this kid trying to get between her legs too.

"If you can't decide with your heart, then I'd suggest to go for the woman whom would benefit the most from marrying you and who you would benefit the most from marrying. Like 'who would your parents hate less?' or something." Wriggle didn't know much about how human relationships worked since the perfect human mind was alien to the perfect youkai mind. The opposite was also true, but Gunha was not the perfect human nor was Wriggle the perfect youkai, so she tried.

Gunha thought about it. He then pointed at the insect youkai and shouted in proud declaration.

"You!"

"…What?" Wriggle asked with an eyebrow raised.

"I'll date YOU!" Gunha clarified. Gunha had chosen that he'd date Wriggle.

"Oh FUCK no!" Wriggle said, "This is not becoming a harem fic!"

"Why are you breaking the forth wall!" Gunha asked, "We already did that this chapter!"


	6. Between 4 and 5: SCHOOL

**Warning:** This chapter contains 20% less funny!

* * *

><p>Gunha lay there in the jail cell. He had been trying to figure out exactly how he had gotten there. If he could recall correctly, it must have involved the sudden need to flip a skirt or something like that. He saw an odd form of underwear instead of bloomers, and he liked what he saw. The revelation of the skimpier undergarments drove him to flipping more skirts, and then someone attacked him, not saying why. He fought back, winning, until some men who were dressed all the same came and shot him with something that looked much like the pistols that he recalled seeing when one of his friends did a research project about the outside world, though they didn't hurt much when fired on him. The clothes also matched that of those from the outside world as well.<p>

That probably meant that he was in the outside world.

"Holy shit," he said to himself at the realization. "But wait...if I'm in the outside world, how did I fight that girl?" He thought back to a girl who had green hair and wore a blue and white miko like outfit. In the outside world, she was using magic actively, something he heard outsiders claim to be something that did not exist in the outside world. But what he felt was real as she was able to blast him and even knock him out when nobody else could. He'd have to ponder this later, though, because the people who locked him up were coming back.

**Unknown Time, Unknown Location**

There stood a woman: a young woman. Perhaps she was not even old enough to be regarded as a woman. Her clothing was not unlike that of a shrine maiden's, although she was donning dark colors today. Her hair was purple.

Before her, that thing stood: a dark incorporeal mass which was taller than any man. It was like a centaur, seeing that it had a humanoid upper body mounted on the body of a four legged beast, but the similarities ended there. It was a three-dimensional shadow that radiated with darkness that casted a shadow on darkness itself.

They held a commonality with each other, something upon which the young woman intended to play.

"I say," the inhuman monster asked, "Why did you save me?"

"Because I seek revenge on the one who imprisoned you, dear brother," the woman, or girl, answered, "I wish to tear down that person."

"Am I to assume that you and I are of the same parent, for you refer to me as brother? _Ks_!"

"Yes, I believe we share the same mother and father. I…Meimu, intend to rain destruction on the ones who had wronged me and had also wronged you. For that, I need your power over time. Do you accept my invitation to revel in the seeds that they sowed: the seeds called 'death'?"

The large creature looked at Meimu without saying a word. There was a long silence.

"Well? What do yo-" the girl was interrupted as her supposed brother exploded in rage.

"_Meimu_ is a fucking stupid name and everyone knows it!" the creature roared.

**Outside World: Unnamed City we don't care about: Jailhouse**

"So kid, what do you know of the girl that knocked you out?" the Interrogator asked. He had failed to get Gunha to say anything sensible about himself, so he decided to ask the boy about the girl who put a stop to his serial harassment.

"She had panties," Gunha answered.

"Anything else?" the Interrogator asked.

"She had panties."

"Are you mocking me?"

"She had real fucking panties! I never thought a shrine maiden would have real fucking panties!"

The interrogator sighed. This was going to take a long time…

**Outside World: Unnamed City**

In the outside world, there exists potential. When humans remove certain mental constraints on their minds, they awaken to a new existence. They project their own reality into the world, a reality that defies the reality that all other people know. These people who create their own reality are known as e_spers_. From an outsider's point of view, or a simplified or superficial perspective, _espers_ are humans with psychic powers.

Within Japan lies an autonomous state called Academy City, whose popularity of technological advancement is only rivaled by their _Esper Curriculum_ as they can take ordinary humans and manufacture them into _espers_. However, they are not the only ones with espers on hand. They're simply the only group that can create new espers using artificial means.

Well, there was Russia, but all of their studying only allowed them to produce the one esper they had...and all she did was move a pencil across the table with her mind.

All other espers in the world only appeared naturally; they were humans who did not undergo the artificial process that creates espers. These humans were called Gemstones, because they were so rare that there have never been even 50 at a time in the world. Prior to the degradation of magic, they only would have been able to be distinguished from magic users by their inability to use real magic without inflicting extreme harm to themselves.

However, magic is a precious commodity in this world. And when today's society rejected the belief in the existence of magic and smaller religions, the scientifically plausible espers had no form in which they could disguise themselves. In fact, now that the world has been forced to accept the existence of psychics, Gemstones stick out like a sore thumb when witnessed in the usage of their power. As such, two espers who were not registered by any government, especially Academy City, would catch the eyes of people who wanted to obtain gemstones.

Two gemstones appeared: one was arrested by the police for sexual harassment and the other disappeared after insuring that the police could apprehend the criminal.

A team from Academy City was sent to investigate and ensure that the gemstone was retrieved before rivaling societies and governments would attempt to retrieve it for themselves.

This team was called 'SCHOOL'. It was composed of four primary members, three of which were espers.

When they reached the city and found a restaurant to eat at while planning their next action, two of the three espers began debating on what was the worst part about a fictional novel series featuring a high school girl falling in love with a hundred year old vampire.

"One problem is that he's a pedophile."

"How so?"

"While he has the appearance of a 17 year old, he's really 100 years of age. He should see anyone as young as 17 to be an infant compared to him."

"Really? You don't find the fact that he's a creature that preys on humans disturbing?"

"But the beauty and the beast idea is what makes it so romantic."

"You say that, but he's a pretty boy vampire. And I didn't call him a monster; I said he was a predator. But going back to what I was saying, shouldn't vampires see humans for what they are: as resources? It makes sense that they'd want to be able to intermingle with humans without fear of humans pulling shit on them, but come on - if it isn't bestiality then it's necrophilia."

"Well, if you want to be so logical, take into the consideration that he watches her when she sleeps. He even refuses to turn her into a vampire because he wants her to remain a human. That's total bullshit right there! If he's going out of his way to keep other boys away from her, it means that he wants to keep him for herself. But clearly he has no interest in her romantically if he doesn't turn her into a vampire."

"So they're playing on the fact that vampires see humans as resources but they're doing it completely wrong?"

Now imagine that this had gone on for the last 10 minutes. This was what their shoulder-length dirty-blond-haired leader, Kakine Teitoku, had to listen to more often than not.

"Both of you, quit being whiny little bitches and SHUT THE FUCK UP!" shouted the esper in all his radiance of vulgarity, "If we can't find the two Gemstones' locations soon, you know what will happen! I don't want my only backup to become incompetent over the validity of fetishes of fucking deluded necrophiles who so badly want to be infected with corpse eating maggots and mutated versions of herpes!" And with that outburst from their leader, the girl in the dress and the boy in the goggles immediately stopped their debate.

"Yo," the non-esper member of their group, a sniper, said as he approached the trio, "I have news."

"And?" the leader asked.

"It appears that after the defeat of the male gemstone, the female gemstone entered a mass of odd looking matter, disappearing at the same time that she did. The local authorities found nothing as to her whereabouts."

"And the boy?" their blond leader asked.

"He seems to have been locked up in the prison facility near here. The charges were indecent exposure, multiple cases of sexual harassment, theft and resisting arrest."

"So what do we do? Bust him out?"

"We're representing Academy City, and the higher-ups wanted us to go about this professionally,"

"And they did so without giving us diplomatic materials. Not to mention our main value as a team is to kill fuckers and be done with it."

Yes, it was almost like it was a suicide mission, but they'd survive it. They were sent in to retrieve two gemstones from the area in which they had been reported. It was all over the news that the two fought using methods that dumbfounded everyone who witnessed it. The boy moved faster than the human eye could perceive while the female could fly without an outside unit such as wings or rockets. Anyone who studied psionics and was privy in related areas would know that these were two gemstones. And this team of four, SCHOOL, had been sent in to retrieve them without anything to work with. Of course, this would become the least of their problems.

In the middle of the street, 1 block away, conveniently between SCHOOL and the prison, it appeared out of thin air. "What is 'it'?" you ask? That would be a difficult question to answer. 16 feet long, 8 feet tall and its body looked to be made of black smoke and shadow. Such a description would best fit it, as impossible as it might seem. This creature seemed to deny reality by simply existing.

The members of SCHOOL saw it and, in alarm, they mentally readied themselves. They all stood up from their chairs as a precaution. They didn't know what to expect as nothing like this was in the briefing. "Perhaps the side effect of one of the gemstones' powers?" one of them might have thought. But again, they were not given anything to work with.

Then, it spoke.

"The world outside of our home land is much different," it told no one in particular as it placed its hand on the ground. "The power wrought by the moon is drastically weaker…but enough talk, it is time to see how this changed world fares to a god who can defy that woman in the void. _Ks__!_"

The leader of SCHOOL could feel a power appear inside the ground: a power he had never felt in his life. His instincts were stimulated, screaming that he should flee. Immediately, the being of black vanished into thin air.

The people of the block would blink in confusion as to what just happened. Or perhaps they sighed in relief? But none of them, save those who were privy to the supernatural energies around them, would be prepared for what happened next.

A symbol on the ground appeared. Its shape was expected of that of a magic circle, but the edge of the shape was not made of a solid. Of course, only those who studied magic, real or fictitious, would know what it was.

_"Σφραγίδα - εκατό χέρια του παιδιού του ορίου"_

The symbols laid on the street, 16 feet in diameter. The ground rumbled as the symbols faded, and the ground broke as a large being whose full height was 32 feet rose to the street's surface.

Its form was less describable than the black thing that appeared earlier. Its body had fifty heads and a hundred arms protruding from it. Each arm wielded a large sword.

"Hey, what's that thing!" the boy in goggles asked.

"Hell if I know, I've never seen something like THAT before!" the sniper clarified.

The monster roared before it rushed the already fleeing terrified civilians. Its body's slithering, as impossible as one would think, was so fast that it was a blur. There was no escape for the innocents it chased as the swing of a sword was too much like that of its body, slicing people in half faster than they could think. Of course, it didn't stop there as it practically flew down the street, killing more civilians as it went.

"Perhaps this is the reason we were sent?" the leader of SCHOOL asked.

**Jail**

"I see, so this was where..."

Gunha looked up to see a man standing in front of him. This man had an air of familiarity to him, but Gunha couldn't quite place him. The man in front of him vaguely reminded Gunha of his father and older brother, yet he was so different. Was it because the man was wearing attire that doesn't exist in Gensokyo?

"Hello, Gunha Sogiita," the man greeted.

"How do you know my name?" Gunha asked.

"Hmmmm...A god did it."

"Oh, okay..." And then it clicked. "Wait, you believe in gods!"

"Do not mix _believe_ with _know_, and I know why you are here in this world."

"Really, why?" Gunha asked.

"Because fate is a cruel, cold-hearted and unfair bastard. I am here to see if you really want to go through with life." There was a long pause before it clicked in Gunha's head.

"What!"

The man lifted up a firearm, a handgun. Although to Gunha it looked like a compact modified crossbow of some sort, he knew what a gun was. He recalled a fisherman having one in Gensokyo, blasting youkai with it if they attacked him. The people who captured him here in this world were armed with them too.

"This is a thirteen millimeter, semi-automatic pistol. A shot to the head will kill most youkai. Think of it as a Crossbow that can kill an oni by tearing through its head, thus leaving a tunnel. Yes, I've tested it on one. She died before the sixth shot, a testament to this gun's strength if you will…although she was below average in the durability department…for her species anyways." The man aimed the firearm at Gunha's face. "Here's what is going to happen: you have to stop one bullet if you wish to live and endure the hardships that await you. Otherwise I will end your life right now and save you the trouble."

"W-what!" Gunha was starting to panic. How was he supposed to stop something that powerful! No matter how Gunha sliced it, he was going to die in that cell, in that world, before he go home and see his family and friends again, and before he could get laid, get married, have kids, anything! His arms and legs were bound, making dodging or blocking impossible, and his shield was barely strong enough to stop a youkai's punch which this weapon could tear through an oni so easily! No, he couldn't lose his calm here! He had to do something.

The man pulled back the hammer.

Gunha focused on his energies, he thought of what he had to do to make his defenses, to strengthen them. And of course, he maximized the output of that power has much as he could. He tried to push his defenses beyond their limits. And he silently prayed to the divines of this world that if they could help him break through this limit or otherwise tip such a balance in that he would survive - that they would too.

…No, this world had no magic and it had no faith. This was not Gensokyo. He could not let himself be held down by such common sense when dealing with an entirely different reality. The only god he revered was a harvest and fertility goddess, nothing more. If that was the case, who could he put his faith in? Himself? Yes, that wasn't impossible if he could break his own limits. Maybe, just maybe he could stop this weapon! He put faith in himself to break the boundary that would dictate whether he lived or died. If he failed, he couldn't let himself become a vengeful spirit. To that end, he had to accept the fact that, regardless of him breaking beyond his limits that he might die, everything could be for naught. All that was left was to accept and make peace. As much as he had to accept that he could go beyond his limits, however painful it might be, he had to accept that this could be the end. But he could not let the possibility waver his defenses; he had to make sure that he would live. This was not the lake of blood. This was death itself. He had to have courage in the face of death, and the same time needed the will to defeat it. The only way he could justify this was that he did not know if he didn't try. And so, he faced the man standing before him with all he had.

...It was a challenge, the challenge to prove that he was strong enough to do that one thing he wanted to do, besides having sex, ever since he was rescued on that day long ago.

This challenge he would overcome. A confident look to his face appeared as the man pulled the trigger.

_Bang!_

**Outside World, same city, a block away**

"Look at me! Boom, head shot! Boom, head shot! Boom, head shot! Boom, head shot!" said the sniper as he didn't even both to aim his gun.

"Not funny!" replied the boy with the goggles.

The two of them had managed to get to higher ground on the top of building where they could see the monster as it rampaged through the streets.

When the sniper fired off his .50 caliber armor piercing rifle at the monster, there was a much better chance at hitting its head since it had fifty mounted on its body. Of course, that would have been great had the bullet wounds not closed up and left the heads unscathed. And of course, the monstrosity just HAD to be intelligent and start predicting the head shots.

"The fuck, how does something that big dodge so well!" the sniper asked in surprise when the giant monstrosity literally dodged a bullet.

Suddenly it changed its course of direction, heading away from them…

"Hey! Is it fleeing?"

…and towards a parking lot…

"What is…"

…and its arms were blurs as they reached out, grabbed several dozen cars at a time, each one with a different hand, and hurled them at the members of SCHOOL.

"…it doing-OH SHIT!"

"Run, RUN!"

To the two males, it was raining cars. The vehicles crashed into the building they were on.

"Fuck! FUCK!" the Sniper shouted as they ran for it. Of course, when a car landed in front of them, thus forcing them to halt their advancement towards the fire escape on the other side of the building, there just had to be that one car that just had to hit them due to them not running.

Feet away, flying into them, surely they would be crushed by it. The boy in the goggles felt his weight shift to the side, the sniper shoved him out of the way. And that was the last thing the sniper could process before the vehicle smashed into his body, killing him almost instantly.

What went through the head of the boy with the goggles? Was it shock or awe over being saved from death by a comrade when it was fact that those of SCHOOL were cold-hearted bastards? Was is it shock from being so close to death?

Regardless, he collected himself within seconds. He wouldn't let his comrade's death go wasted...or so he would hope when he saw a van flying towards him.

"Well fuck," he told himself.

But then, just as the van was about to hit him spot on, it was sliced in half.

Kakine was there. He had white feathered wings protruding from his back. The cars raining down now were being sliced in perfect halves by said wings. Of course the monster wasn't done, seeing as it had traveled from the parking lot and down two blocks and was half way up the wall of the building they were on. But the young man who held power over Dark Matter, or rather matter that did not exist until he himself created it, would not die in some freak incident caused by some multi-limbed monstrosity. As the creature reached for him, one of his wings made a vertical slash upwards. The creature roared in pain as the man who could manipulate Dark Matter sliced its side clean off. The thing fell to the street below, losing a good third of its arms and heads.

"Are you making fun of us? Cause it looks to me like you want to become a nice corpse," he said with an arrogant smirk. The creature's lost heads and arms vaporized and their essence reached out for the rest of its body. In a matter of seconds, the 33 arms and the 17 heads it lost had regenerated. The Dark Matter Esper could stare at what happened. Kakine frowned, "...Oh, well shit."

**The Jail:**

Gunha's eyes were narrowed, looking at the bullet that had slammed into his head. But it had not gone through him, nor was he knocked back. While Gunha couldn't understand the mechanics, he understood that it looked like the bullet was stopped by his skin. He had defeated the bullet that could supposedly punch through an Oni's body! He passed the life threatening challenge!

"I see you have what it takes to live and the will to go through with it, and the will to become beyond…that. I must say I am impressed. Had it been me, I would have died on the spot. Take this weapon, you'll need it. This pistol that is much like the more advanced crossbows or any firearm you have in the human village, although you'll be the only human strong enough to wield it."

"How did he know about the human village?" Gunha asked himself.

"Anyways, the bullets are blessed and enchanted a grand total of 6 times over. But let me say this…the weapon's effectiveness does not lie in its sheer power, but in the fact that it comes from a time where Gensokyo...where "that man" and "that woman" and thus their offspring, never existed. I'm giving this weapon to you for two reasons. The first is to show you how futile your struggle is when you fail. And second is if you, by some miracle, managed to succeed, that you'll be helping more people than you can count."

A long winded explanation, Gunha wondered if those were the man's true motives were…

"Well, I still have a job to do, so I'll be going."

"Wait! Who are you, and how do you know about things like the human village and Gensokyo? What are you planning?" Gunha demanded.

"...Do you really want to know?" The man asked as he leaned forward and whispered into Gunha's ear.

...

Gunha's eyes widened, he couldn't believe what the man whispered.

"Of course, I could easily be lying, so take it easy," the man suggested as he backed away from him. "I've wasted too much time here, so I'll be going. Do yourself a favor and don't reveal the existence of Gensokyo to anyone, it'll make your life a lot easier! Jene!" And out of thin air, the man disappeared.

Gunha saw it, he saw that the man teleported. Gunha could somehow tell...

Or rather it gave the illusion of teleportation. It was mentally healthier for anyone who was not Gunha, or someone like Gunha, to think of it as anything besides that.

The point was that the man had the same power as him, or was least something simular. In fact, he could tell how the energies that man had were controlled. If Gunha could control his own power the same way, then could he too escape?

Outside World, same city, a block away

All four members of SCHOOL had managed to flee from the monster. They were currently discussing strategy in an alley.

"Okay, it moves faster than a cheetah, can throw cars like small rocks, and can cleave through a human with ease using swords. You can't flank it due to its extra heads, and it heals otherwise mortal wounds almost as fast as it takes a male Chimp to go from soft to ejaculation," Kakine said. Everyone was staring at him, blinking periodically.

"The hell you all staring at me for! It's true! Every fucking animal in the world lasts longer in bed than a Chimp, even the 1 inch dicked premature ejaculating Lemur is better in bed," Kakine added and clarified. It was to anyone's guess why the second strongest esper in Academy City would know such odd knowledge. Of course, no one in their right mind was about to ridicule or make fun of him for it.

"Whatever, I tried having it lured into a Telephone line so that I could electrocute it, but it wasn't even fazed," said the boy in the goggles.

"I'm not about to use Measure Heart on something like that," said the girl in the dress. "For all I know, that just might make it want to kill me more."

"In that case, go see if you can find our target. He should be in the city jail. He might give us an edge." Kakine told the girl in the dress. He then turned to the other two members. "Go with her, I'll see if I can stop the thing here."

As the three ran, Kakine looked over head as a police car flew through the air and hit a news helicopter. Not caring, he turned around and ran in the direction of the hundred-handed monster.

**Jail:**

After the 10th try, Gunha was able to free himself from half of his bonds; the other came apart from his superior strength forcing it apart.

Now that Gunha's life was not in danger from the mysterious man, and that he had room to stretch his muscles out, he recognized a presence. In a world where magic was non-existent, magical creatures would stand out like a sore thumb. Any human from Gensokyo who paid attention to the subtle energies around them could tell whether the person in front of them was a god, animal or youkai. What Gunha was unable to do was tell the difference between animals and humans or tell the difference between two types of youkai. He also couldn't augment his ability to sense magic because it would conflict with his unexplainable abilities - they have always mucked up his usage of magic. This is when things like sight became a necessity.

But usually he had to have something right in front of him to know what it was, but the being he was sensing right now was outside the building. This was a testament to how powerful it was-but something was off. The presence of youkai was mixed with something else: a presence-usually annual-that he rarely felt. The last time he felt this presence was when he was with Reimu, but that didn't tell him what it was. He felt that he knew that presence elsewhere...

It was whenever Minoriko Aki appeared in the Human Village for harvest festivals and whenever he approached the wooden carving of said woman whom his family kept to insure their farm's value. Said woman was his family's harvest goddess, not exclusively to them, but they evoked her power more often than others.

The thing outside the building, it was part youkai...and part god.

"Hey! Large mass of AIM waves detected! He's the one!" A feminine voice broke his train of thought. He looked outside of his cell to see the jail warden with a blond girl holding a small object in her hand and wearing a stylish dress, although Gunha wouldn't know that it was stylish. They were talking about something, but it seemed to regard him.

"Miss, you shouldn't even be here!" the guard yelled.

"Look, if you let us take him, he might be able to help get rid of that monster outside, which I might remind you is destroying everything." Something happened, Gunha didn't know what but suddenly the man's composure was different than usual. The girl's words seemed to be convincing the man of whatever she was saying, although he couldn't hear all of it. After a brief moment of talking, Gunha was set free.

"As the one who has gotten you out of jail, please tell me your name," the girl demanded.

This was odd, Gunha suddenly felt like how he was whenever he talked to Reimu, Keine, or Wriggle. Even though he just met this girl, it felt like he could hug her, twirl her around and everything would be alright!

"Sogiita G-" the girl interrupted him; he was slowly beginning to notice that she had worry in her voice.

"Mr. Sogiita, what can you do combat wise?" the girl asked.

With his mind abnormally at ease, he felt no reason not to tell the girl what he could do. She was controlling him without him even knowing it.

"I'm stronger than any person or animal I know." Well, that was physically speaking, and not including the youkai of Gensokyo. He decided to stop trying to convince the people here that those things existed as ordered by the man who nearly killed him. Wait, what kind of logic was that? But regardless, he probably would want to keep his mouth shut if he didn't want to attract unnecessary attention.

"I'm faster than any animal, and...I can take a 13 millimeter bullet to the face!" Thanks to the man who appeared in his cell earlier, Gunha knew that last bit. Although now that he had a chance to look at the ground, he could see that the gun the man left behind was missing, odd.

"Maybe you can help. The city is being attacked by something: some sort of monster. Can you help?" the girl in the dress asked.

And with Gunha's heart being controlled, there was no way that he could say no.

**Outside:**

"For something radiating such powerful evil, you are surprisingly easy to fend off," Kakine gloated.

The monster roared in annoyance. It seemed to perfectly understand what the boy said.

Of course, this was to make the thing angry and attack with less coordination. The reason was that Kakine, although he was not tired, was starting to become tired. On the other hand, the monster showed no signs of weakening in the slightest. No matter how many times Kakine blasted the monster or sliced it through it, it would heal in a matter of seconds.

Hell, Kakine would have been tempted to count how long certain parts of the body took before they regenerated if the multi-limbed, multi-headed monster's presence didn't mean imminent death should he let his guard down.

Meanwhile, Gunha had been escorted out of the jail and into the open where he could see the 32-foot tall monster and the destruction it created so easily, as not even half a block away were the ruins of that segment of the city.

Was it a youkai? Was it a god? Was it actually both? Whatever this creature was, its magical presence was stronger than anything he had felt. Of course, this creature probably wasn't able to hide its magical presence, and when you're in a world where such beings are common then you're not nearly as likely to sense a presence of equal strength. That said, it had been merely the strongest presence Gunha recalled feeling. Regardless, it was overwhelming to him.

He could also see that the creature wasn't about to lose anytime soon to the boy who was probably more powerful than him.

"Teitoku!" the girl shouted when the boy fighting the monster was suddenly slammed into the side of a building.

Gunha could assume that the boy was the companion of the girl who got him out of jail. The young man who was fighting was also weakening, that was obvious enough.

It would be at times like these when a powerful youkai hunter would appear and save the day.

…

But there was no such youkai hunter here in the world that was not Gensokyo. There was no Shrine Maiden to save them, no patrol from the human village passing by, no nothing. There was only him.

Was he afraid just now? If his durability increased a hundredfold, then his strength and speed also could have increased by that much as well. That thing he was looking at was part god and part youkai; so while the opposition could win, they likely would die in the process if they didn't get back up. The time to act was now. Gunha clenched his fist and charged, faster than he ever had been in his life. With a boom, he broke the sound barrier. But to everyone else, he did it the moment he took the first step.

Kakine Teitoku, as he pulled himself out of the side of the building, courtesy of being smashed with a truck by his opponent, did not expect help in what he'd think to be the oddest of fashions.

"AMAZING PUNCH!" yelled the Gensokyian boy who was putting his fist into the monster's side. The name was something he came up with off the top of his head. And given that the force he put into the punch was greater than what he has ever witnessed in his life, it was well suited.

An explosion of force followed. The monster had a large imprint in its body from the impact, and the kinetic energy carried it, making it fly across the street.

"Hey! Hey, you! What are you!" Gunha demanded of the hundred armed monster. "Are you a god? Are you a youkai?"

As it flew through the air, the monster grabbed a car off the ground and threw it at the boy that who punched him. Gunha only put out his hands, and the car stopped when it impacted his open palms. Gunha shifted the weight of the vehicle, the monster finally hit the ground.

"Judging from its weight, it feels like I can use it as a makeshift club of some sort. Does it have a part I can grip it by?" Before Gunha could really finish the thought, the monster was already charging him.

Gunha awkwardly slammed the car into the side of the monster. The hit was less than effective as the monster managed to hit Gunha off his feet, causing him to land on his back.

Instant disadvantage! The monster was above him!

However, just because humans weren't nearly as strong as youkai physically (unless augmented) didn't mean that they couldn't fight them unarmed in close quarters. In fact, training was really needed to ensure that a human would survive long enough to cast a spell or find a means to escape. As such, rolling out the way was not unheard of when a large monster was about to be on top of you. Fists of the hundred handed monstrosity smashed through the concrete, narrowly missing Gunha as he scrambled to his feet. Of course this was met with another arm swinging horizontally, sending Gunha flying into a nearby building. The creature charged again, smashing Gunha through the structure, causing him to fly out the other side. Gunha practically bounced as he hit the ground while spinning. His head hit a large piece of asphalt that had been sticking up due to the damage to the street; a normal human's head would had come clean off from the force.

Unfortunately for Gunha, he'd be forced to live with going through such misery, although he was fortunate in the fact he was still alive.

His spinning eventually gave way to the loss of momentum, letting him roll across the ground before he came to a deliberate stop thanks to outstretching his arm and leg. He lifted himself off the ground only to see that the youkai/deity hybrid was already in the air, having leaped over the building Gunha had been sent though.

"Oh, no you don't!" Gunha yelled as he vanished into thin air and reappeared right in front of the creature whom was in mid leap, thus finishing to copy the teleportation technique that he witnessed the man in jail perform. This obviously caught the monster off guard as it didn't attack or block before Gunha struck it with a kick, which while poorly executed still knocked it back, making its upper half smash against the top of the building it had leaped over before it tumbled to the ground.

"Quickly! While it's down, we can leave!" Gunha looked up to see Kakine. How did that boy get there so fast? Oh wait, he has wings. Of course.

"What? No! That thing's going to regenerate and come back for more, right? It'll wreck this city even more, right?" Gunha asked.

"Yes, but this place has gone to Hell anyways. We should leave this to the military."

Gunha ignored the word 'military' since he didn't know what the word was or what it meant. Such a word rarely had use in Gensokyo, even Keine's history class would use words like 'army' instead. But Gunha objected regardless.

"Men aren't supposed to run away if they have a chance at defeating the monster in front of them, humans exterminate hostile youkai!"

This was a mentality needed when being a youkai hunter: to be so steeled that you would be willing to chase youkai down before fighting and exterminating them. Well, it wasn't quite like that, but that was how Gunha remembered it.

Gunha finally had the power to defeat monsters: like his drug addicted father who raised and took care of his family, like his flower-loving bastard of a brother...

...like all the women he adored; the red haired police officer that saved him from bullies, the green haired insect youkai who saved him when he was in the forest of magic, and his history teacher who saved him when he was in the bamboo forest...

Like that woman who saved his life on that fateful day in at the beginning of autumn.

He was not going to run, he was going to fight.

As for Kakine, he took the gemstone's words as a stab, assuming that Gunha thought him to be a coward. No, Kakine was not a coward; he just didn't want to be hassled with more useless work than necessary. But he had an ego, one that would not let this matter be settled in someone seeing him as a coward.

"Fine, you have a plan?" Kakine asked as he stood next to Gunha.

"Hit it until it stops moving, or cut it down small enough that it can't regenerate" Gunha bluntly, and in all seriousness, answered the Dark Matter Manipulator.

Kakine would have paused with his jaw agape. But there was something about the plan that appealed to him. Unshakable will, out lasting an immortal monster? But this was good. His chances of survival might have sky rocketed even.

Of course, this wasn't the brightest idea Gunha had ever had. This thing was like a giant fairy with the strength and durability of a beast youkai of similar size.

"But that seems to not be working...wait, how many of those blades can you send off?" Gunha asked.

"A lot," Kakine answered. "If I push myself...ten in a row…a hundred in a row…maybe a thousand in a row?" Of course this was only made possible because he had a breather given to him thanks to Gunha.

"On my mark, you cut him up as many time as you can. I think I can halt him from regenerating."

Youkai were damaged by magic more than humans; it was one of the few ways humans could compete with youkai in Gensokyo. But Gunha's power, while it interfered with his own ability to use magic, was able to harm youkai almost as well and was certainly more effectively than purely physical attacks. In the meantime, Gunha wondered what the name of this technique he was about to do was going to be. It needed a name befitting it, but since he didn't know what was going to happen, he couldn't just name it something like 'I don't know what I'm doing attack'.

"Wait...that name is perfect!" Gunha thought, referring to a name he had come up with that he never used.

The monster leaped off its back and landed upright, roaring as it dug its body became ridden with electricity. It charged at them.

"Now!" Gunha said. Kakine fired off the blades of dark matter.

Slice! The monster was cut in half at the waist.

Slice! The monster was cut in half vertical.

Slice! Slice! Slice! Those parts were cut in half.

Slice! Slice! Slice! Slice! Slice! Slice! Slice! Slice!

And so on.

Kakine was striking the monster continuously.

The angel wings lashed out as much as they could at the monster.

When Gunha shouted, he already focused his own energies.

Coming into this world, Gunha was improving for some reason. He didn't notice it at first, but being in this world felt like an amount of weight was lifted from his body and mind. He could see it: the non-magial energy his body produced with better clarity. He honestly had no idea how he was going to use this power, but he controlled it. He believed that they could win.

The trick was like how his shields worked, putting something in a barrier. So what if he placed something else in that barrier? On top of that, what if he filled it with the unstable energies that flowed through his body without trying to control them?

He used this technique before, but at the time, the most he could manage was a small reaction from a two inch shield. But now he was at least a hundred times stronger than he had ever been in every way.

The hundreds of pieces of the fifty headed, hundred handed, part god, part youkai hybrid were contained in a barrier from Gunha molding his energies to surround the flying remains. As he did so, he let as much unstable energy into the barrier as he could. He then tried to shrink the barrier. But knowing that the unstable energy wasn't enough to kill the monster, Gunha knew he would need something else. So he did the one thing he could think of doing, adding stimuli to the barrier by punching it.

As per Gensokyian culture, he called the name of his new attack.

"ATTACK CRASH!" he yelled at the top of his lungs!

Words could not describe exactly what happened aside from the gigantic explosion.

But one thing was for certain to the humans present.

The monster was no more.

**Boys are sorting...**

"Let me see if I got this straight," Gunha started. After the whole fight was over, he was approached by SCHOOL (now only three primary members) and they tried to convince him to come to Academy City with them. He stopped them half way into their offer to have them explain what they were talking about. "So basically I'm this person called an Esper, but I'm special because I got my power due to "natural methods"?"

"Yes," answered the boy in the goggles.

"And to keep me from being inevitably killed off by someone else who wants to learn the secrets to my existence, you want me to come with you guys because your experimentation don't kill people and actually yield results."

"Yes."

"Sure, just so long as I don't have to pay for room, food and education."

"...Education?"

"Yeah, I highly doubt you guys don't use mathematics above the multiplication table."

"I think someone can arrange that."

"Can doesn't mean will. Oh, I'm sure I can work for money if need be...if they have a job to fit my skill set. But I know little about this...country."

"Obviously, given your curiosity…"

"My what?"

"You've been looking at the car almost like you've never seen one before."

"...I haven't"

"What, are you from a fourth world country?"

"That depends...what's a 'fourth world country'?"

"A country that doesn't have the technological value of the third world country and thus is covered in agriculture, probably isolated from the rest of the world."

There was a very long pause.

"Sure." Gunha answered. To this the boy in the goggles raised an eyebrow.

"How is that possible? You speak Japanese so well, although…oddly...and there are no known Fourth World countries."

"Well if I say nothing about the place I came from, there won't be a scare now will there?"

"A smartass, huh?"

"No, I'm just insane."

Meanwhile, with the other two members of SCHOOL, the boy who controlled dark matter was on the phone with his superior while the girl in the dress waited for things to be sorted out.

"The guy is making demands, what do we do?" Kakine asked.

"Tranquilize him and bring him in," answered whoever was on the other end of the line.

"Yeah...that's not happening."

"Okay...what are his demands?"

"That we pay for his food, housing and education if he comes with us. All of which has to be at least moderate level for people of this country."

"We can't promise that!"

"Well, after this recent fight, he thinks he's invincible."

"I'm invincible!" Gunha shouted.

"And while I'm certain that I'm stronger, fighting him isn't in my best interest."

"But we can't pay for the esper to be here in its entirety!"

"Can't one of the schools give him a scholarship for being a Gemstone?"

"...Well...yes, but that hardly pays for education alone!"

"What about him being a level 5 esper?" Kakine asked.

"WHAT!" the guy on the other end of the line, the girl in the dress, and the boy with the goggles all asked at the same time.

"OW, MY EAR!" Kakine yelled, jerking the phone away on reaction.

"You say he's a Level 5 Esper? Are you sure?" the man over the phone asked.

"I'd assume he's somewhere between Meltdowner's level and Kushiro Katabira's. Of course, we don't even know the extent of his power yet, so he's definitely stronger than any Level 4."

"Gah, fine, I'll write a scholarship for him being a level 5. But that still only covers some of the...wait, the Kihara group drools over stuff like this. With luck, they might be willing pay for everything. But they would restrict all information they yield on the boy. Well, orders are orders. I'll give them a call."

"Oh yes, another thing. We're going to need another sniper."

For saving the city (whose name we will not speak) from that...thing, the people have come to agreement that Gunha's charges would be dropped. SCHOOL informed him on their job in retrieving gemstone espers, specifically him. His offer was to be researched on like what all the other Gemstones are, so long as they can pay for room, board and education on the world outside of his home, which he managed to avoid answering to what the identity of his home was. His demands were accepted.

"One last thing," Gunha turned towards the girl in the dress, "Can I touch your breasts?"

Shocked faces covered all of SCHOOL's surviving members. The Kihara group should also think about checking his hormonal system for imbalances; perhaps they could find a way to make him not a subconscious pervert.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note: Contains Spoilers.<strong>

And with that, we have the reason why Gunha is in Academy City in the first place.

The two monsters were based on the Phane and the Hecatoncheires found in the D20 SRD, (by Wizards of the Coast). I have altered them in order to fit them into the Touhou Universe but stay true to their basis of existence, a hint as to what they will be doing in the future if you're D&D privy.

While the purple haired chick is inspired by Muffiny Miscellany's webcomic character Kon (go read that shit, it's funny), I decided to try to make this "Meimu" to be as different as possible without cutting into my initial plans. Still, there are many elements they share so I will not be claiming ownership on her.

Also, the boy in the goggles and the girl in the dress? They are canon characters from Certain Magical Index. I apologize to anyone who wished that I was more true to their and Kakine's character.

Thanks to Kerreb17 for proof reading.


	7. Between 4 and 5: Winter

When I wrote this chapter, it felt like it was considerably less valuable than the rest of the Story. In fact, you might as well skip this part since it probably won't make any sense. In fact, for that reason I shall experiment to see if I can make this chapter work out without having someone proof read it for me!

Wipe those looks of horror off your faces! I'm not THAT bad...am I?

_Gunha's blond friend is voiced by Kerreb17, Yukari's Male Shikigami (in Sinsack form) is voiced by Demon Neko Shen._

_I don't know why they agreed to it either._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4.5 part 3<strong>

The Kihara group had asked Kakine to have an exhibition fight with their newest "toy" to see what they were working with as Gunha himself had appeared to have no idea how his power work other than how he controlled it. Gunha did not know the specifics, but apparently Kakine accepted the terms. And so, Gunha and Kakine were alone in a large room, spanning 1250 feet by 1875 feet by 2500 feet. It was all for the purpose of pitting him and Kakine against each other in a fight to gather data off of.

"Fight to your heart's content. If something happens, we can heal you...just don't die, that's beyond our expertise in reversing. Begin."

The Dark Matter guy could slice though stuff with those weird blades like energy attacks, and so Gunha opted to try to strike the blond boy at the side, using his hypersonic speed to get him there. Breaking the sound barrier, Gunha rushed the clear spot on Kakine's left side. He'd end it with one strike. He spun in mid step, bringing up his fist for a hook!

"Amazing punch!" Gunha shouted as he struck Kakine's...palms?

The blast of energy cause would have blown anything away from the two had there been any. The effect looked like wind had been blow outward at all directions. Kakine was strong enough to catch. Hell Kakine could register Gunha moving a such a speed!

"Wha-?" Gunha was struck in the stomach, the force carrying him off his feet, several dozen feet into the air. Before Gunha could react, he was struck by several pillars of light which had fired from Kakine.

"Guh!" Gunha grunted as he fell to the ground. His physical activities in Gensokyo did not let him down, allowing him to get to his feet almost immediately. More energy beams, wait...no. Now that Gunha could get a good look at them, they looked nothing like energy beams. To describe them would be an impossible feat. But Gunha knew that he could and had to block the attack. Gunha raised his guard, the strike bended around Gunha's barrier when it collided with it. Then suddenly, the attack broke through Gunha's barrier, drilling into his body. Gunha grunted as he was knocked down. This fight was informational, even if only to a minor extent. He noticed something about himself. It hurt...his body was in pain yet he was indifferent to it.

"Dodge!" his instincts screamed at him. The ground where Gunha had been was sliced clean through, he had narrowly dodged on of the cutting strikes that Kakine sent off.

"And he's preparing for more!" Gunha could see from the energy gathering to Kakine's hand. In an instant, Gunha had closed the distance between himself and Kakine, grabbing the blond boy by the wrist. This would serve two things - 1: it confirmed that while Kakine could see and react at hypersonic speeds, he still couldn't move that fast, and 2: it halted the use of the blades. Gunha threw his free first up for a physical strike. At that same moment, Kakine struck Gunha with his free hand. The impacts of the cross-counter shook the entire building, but neither of the two had even staggered. Gunha released Kakine's wrist to take a second swing, likewise Kakine also took a swing at Gunha. The entire facility rocked as the fight between the two ridiculously strong men ensued. Somewhere in the titanic fist fight, the two were suddenly yards appart. Then explosions, whose existences were either unidentifiable and could not be comprehended, started filling the room. These explosions originating either from the energies owned by Gunha or the Energies owned by Kakine.

And then it escalated.

There it was, nothing but blissful and chaotic course, destroying all before it. There was nothing one could not do.

**Gensokyo, human village:**

"Thanks for taking me to the hangout," Gunha said to his blond friend. The two of them were walking down the road.

"No problem, with the demon threat, we need more people prepared for the worst. What's more is that there's rumors spreading about the youkai becoming restless."

"Restless?"

"Yeah, I don't know what that exactly means either. Something like them being pissed that the average youkai is not as powerful as the average human?"

"Doesn't help in the fact that most youkai are loners while humans are usually moving in groups."

"But you know what, Gunha? I never expected that you'd stop being as much of pervert in such a sudden amount of time. Were you kicked in the balls or something?"

"What! No!"

"Well, had you still been the pervert you were a few days ago, I would have suggested that you took on a job as a gigolo instead of as an actual youkai hunter."

"What! A gigolo?" Gunha asked in shock. He had no interest in being a male prostitute.

"Yeah, for women I mean. Chicks come by, you put your 'hose' in their holes, fill them up, and then you get paid."

Of course, this was less of a problem for Gunha than being requested for by men, unless he was hired by an extremely ugly woman and wouldn't be able to get it up. Of course, there had still been the issues regarding curses that would be placed upon those who slept around, and people who slept with those cursed people also receiving the curses those who slept around have. There was also the risk in getting his customers pregnant, he was still too inexperienced in the world of occupation to move out of his parent's house let alone support multiple kids so such a thing would be a nightmare for him, and abandoning the children and mothers would not be gutsy of him. Well, if he was only servicing one woman then there wouldn't be a problem...wait, that would be the same as marriage, wouldn't it? Also he didn't know the laws on such a job as male prostitution.

Regardless, the job sounded like something he came across in his dream of the outside world.

"Oh! Like a gas station!" Gunha commented.

"...A what?" his friend asked in slight confusion.

"You know, a gas station! That's where they fill cars up with gas in the outsider world."

"What's a car?"

"Well it...carries people from place to place."

"A wagon?"

"Kinda, it's a like a wagon...but you...you don't have a horse pulling it and it's not running on magic."

"What? What? "Bullshit, you're lying!"

"No, no dude, I'm dead serious. Go ask that Okazaki girl, she's from the outside world, she'll tell you!"

"No way man! I'm not going near another one of those weirdos! They're messed up in the head somehow or another!"

"Like that guy who tried to woo every girl and got his balls torn off when he tried to get the Flower Youkai to give him a blowjob?"

The man was some sort of local badass who apparently slept around a lot before appearing in Gensokyo. Unlike most outsiders, he appeared in the human village. Without being introduced to the horrors known as youkai, he was arrogant beyond belief. Apparently between Marisa, her cousin and Rika, the man was introduced to Yuuka whom he tried to date rape or something. Since then, Yuuka started to become popular among several braver but more intelligent single men from the village...and women too.

Blood, guts, abnormally red flowers growing in the vicinity of the incident - Gunha's blond friend shuddered at the memory as he and Asakura Rikako were the ones who had to clean that mess up when the whole ordeal was over.

"I didn't know testicles could stick to a wall so well using dried blood as a seal," the blond boy nearly puked.

"I didn't either," Gunha answered.

"Anyways, with your personality, why did you decide to be a youkai hunter and not a member of the Village's law enforcement?"

"WE HAVE LAWS?"

**Sometime later in the Human Village: Sogiita Fruit-n-Vegetable stand**

Winter wasn't very harsh, but the cold did make people hungrier. For that reason, the Sogiitas were able to make profit by selling access food. Thankfully they had plants that produced fruit when during the winter, so long as it was warm enough. A blessing they owed to Minoriko, the harvest goddess. What was surprising was that at the end of winter, they still had enough for sales. In fact, the busiest day was near the start of spring. The good of business came with the bad as their food stand was swarmed by several other people in the human village. To make matters worse, it was Sogiita's shift.

"Yes, that will be 5 mon total...no, stop haggling with me! Hey! Put that fruit down if you're not paying!" Oddly, the supplies weren't selling that day until it was Gunha's shift. And when that rush came, much of the food sold fast.

Whether it was thanks to Gunha's willingness to persevere or by some miracle bestowed by a god, he managed to get through that afternoon.

"Was it a coincidence that nobody came when my brother and parents were on shift but came in a rush when I was on shift?" He asked himself. "What about the fact that we never had this big of a crowd during the winter or evening?" Then it occurred to him, what if the harvest goddess, Aki Minoriko, had cursed him?

"Oh goddess of Harvest, Aki Minoriko! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO CAUSE YOU TO BE ANGRY WITH ME! HAVE I OFFENDED YOU SOMEHOW!" Gunha's outburst was short lived as a calm individual next to him spoke.

Oh yes, just as much as Aki Shizuha was a goddess of death, Aki Minoriko was also a fertility goddess. That said, Gunha often prayed that he had powerful sperm, but he never actually used said sperm since he always masturbated. Yeah, with that in mind, the fertility goddess would probably be pissed at him.

"Excuse me?" a voice asked. Gunha looked over his shoulder and saw a man, looking to be in his early twenties with brown hair and matching eyes that wore a white pair of dress pants with a matching jacket, a light blue dress shirt, and a dark belt that was etched with a white kanji. Gunha could tell that this man was either an outsider or was a youkai judging from such attire. And since it was someone who Gunha had never seen before, and their form of speech had no oddities, the chances of this man being an outsider were slim.

"Yes?" Gunha asked. "We're in the middle of closing for today, I need to put stuff away. Do you need something?"

"Ah, yes...I was wondering if you carried pineapple," the man asked. Gunha thought for a moment.

"Pineapple?" That was a tropical plant that was imported to Gensokyo from Japan prior to the erection of the Hakurei Barrier. The Sogiita's were the only family that could properly cultivate it. Of course they had to do so by using magic. But it wasn't in season during the winter, so if he had any, it would probably have gone bad.

"...and it's one of the plants I can no longer help with," Gunha thought, recalling his inability to cast magic lest another lung ruptured from doing so. He walked over to the one of the smaller crates, reached in and searched. "Found it!" he thought as he pulled out a moderately sized pineapple.

"Well sir, you're in luck. Last one," Gunha indicated in lifting up the pineapple, "Of course at this time of year, even I'm surprised that we have one that hasn't gone bad. Certainly gutsy of it, but you might want to eat it soon since it's about to expire."

Yes, Gunha was being honest in telling the customer that the fruit may go bad soon. No use risking in compromising his family's business if it got out that he lied to customers.

"Oh thank you, sir!" the man with the sack over his head said while bowing profusely as he took out the money he owed and paid.

"Um...okay?" Gunha blinked, why was the man bowing so much?

"Oh sorry, it's just all of the other fruit stands refused me service," the youkai answered.

"Oh," Gunha blinked. Maybe it was because the man was a youkai? "Well, nice doing business with you. Please come again!"

"Okay!" the man called out as he left. Gunha huffed to himself, and then a smile of satisfaction appeared on his face. Perhaps working the stand

Gensokyo - Grass plains near the entrance to the demon world.

"Huh...where am I? Is this really the route to Makai?"

"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU...SHALL NOOOOOOOOOOOOT...PAAAAAAAAAAAAASS!"

The blond boy narrowly evaded a burst of energy bullets, and not the painless kind either if the sudden burn on his clothing was anything to go by. It came from demon girl with pink eyes, pink hair, a red dress with a white scarf and white sleeves.

"I have and will NOT fail to halt any intruders!" she yelled.

"Ah...hello?" the human asked, raising his hands defensively.

"I cannot let you enter Makai!" the girl quickly shouted.

"I see, unfortunately there have been demons entering our world, many of which have been running amok and bothering the youkai and humans here. I was sent to investigate this area," the blond haired boy answered.

"Even so, I can't let you through."

"Fine, I'll force my way in."

"I won't lose to you!"

"You're forgetting one thing; unless I'm secretly named Boozer Rokusuke, Hikozaemon, Yumeta or Yumetsugu...then I'm technically an OC in this fanfic. You on the other hand...are just a first level boss. Logic dictates that there's no way you'll win," The blond boy raised his right hand which was glowing with a sickly green light. "ROT!"

They charged each other, each with their own battle cry.

It was over in ten seconds.

The blond boy fell face first into the ground. He lost to the guard to the entrance of Makai.

"Welcome to reality, Mr. Boozer!" the pink haired demon guard called out.

**Gensokyo: Human Village, Sogiita residence**

"Augment the amplifier using this and that." Gunha said as he clicked various mechanical parts together. He then paused, "What the hell am I doing? I know nothing about machines! Why do I even have parts to a machine in my house!"

Gunha had been having odds dreams of late where he'd find himself in a world where youkai and deities did not exist but certain basics of magic that did not exist in Gensokyo did. It was similar to the Arahitogami, humans who attain so much faith that they become temporary gods. Only the difference was that in this other world, the Arahitogami had to get faith from themselves in order to have power. Supposedly this was what he was.

He looked up and saw his mother whom was dressed in an apron over normal clothing while she swept the floors.

"Oh, hi Mom. Did you see a pair of bloomers on my bed?" Gunha casually asked.

"Those? I washed them." His mother answered casually. Gunha froze.

"Noooooooo!" Gunha grabbed his hair.

"I thought they were mine."

"WHAT?"

"Why would YOU be wearing Bloomers?" His mother asked, raising an eyebrow.

"They were Ms. Hakurei's, I bought them as masturbation material!" This information made his mother's eyes widen ridiculously. How did he obtain them? Where they already doing things immoral with each other! But wait, he said 'sold'. Who sold him the Shrine Maiden's bloomers?

"She sold you her bloomers!"

"Being a human, if they were desperate for money, I wouldn't put it passed anyone. But no, she wouldn't let me five feet near her unless I was carrying food." Gunha answered.

"So you stole them?" His mother clearly forgot that part about the bloomers being sold to him.

"What? No! Do you know how expensive bloomers are these days!"

"Given that I am a woman, I'd say yes." There was a pause after his mother spoke.

"Well that was stupid of me." Gunha said as his face met the palm of his hand. "But the point is that I'm not a perverted freak who steals panties! I bought them from a friend who probably stole them."

"In that case, I want you to return them."

"I thought you wanted me to NOT be going anywhere near her," Gunha pointed out. His mother DID forbid him from approaching the Shrine Maiden.

"I'll make this one exception. But I swear to the Dragon God that if you take longer than an hour, I'm gonna kick your ass and ground you for a month!"

"I was going to return them when I was done sniffing them-"

"NOW!" with his mother so steamed, Gunha decided to comply with her orders. When he received the bloomers, he found that they were lacking the smell of Reimu's most private place.

**Mayohiga - the village of apparitions...**

It was all in a few months' work…or in this particular case, a season's work. The man visited the human village, discovered his next destination in the home of the Flower Youkai, and investigated what he found, brought back what he could, and cross referenced its properties with the Nine Tailed Strategist. Being Chinese in origin, the Nine tailed fox was able to make sense of what her colleague could not.

After answers were found, the fox woman sent the man to go to the human village to get ingredients for an opening meal for their master's awakening.

A problem was that few still sold fruit that wasn't in season. It was probably a miracle that he actually found someone who had a single pineapple left, let alone be willing to sell it to a youkai like him. But such was what you needed to do when you wanted to impress your master who could topple gods.

And while she doesn't expect anything ridiculously fancy, she expects a meal to her liking when she would wake up. While like the statistic in that she would enjoy the taste of such foods, she never really accepted the idea of splurging on them in spite her status. This was probably because she was a youkai, and most prepared foods are made with humans or animals and in mind. This made hunting for those special dishes that she truly liked difficult as her shikigami couldn't just buy the most expensive dish and expect her to love it. To top this all off, their master changed over time with her only consistencies being unlike humans in mannerisms and having the same basic humanoid appearance and love of the color purple. As a result, her tastes change. Hell, the man even recalled the times when she loved the taste of human flesh.

As he entered his family's house, he was greeted by his colleague, his sister in spirit and often vicious rival, sticking her head out of the kitchen to make eye contact with him. She was wearing an apron over her usual blue and white clothing as she had been cooking not seconds ago.

"Ah, you're back! Did you manage to get some pineapples?" she asked.

"No. Getting them is ridiculously unlikely since the snow is still melting outside. I did manage to get one, and it's on the verge of molding," he answered. There was a long pause. The fox woman was staring at him as if in shock. If he could read her mind, he didn't bother to do so. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"What the hell happened to your voice?" the woman with the fox tails asked in shock.

"This? Didn't you read the author's comment? I'm being voiced by Demon Neko Shen," he answered. Again, his master's tastes changed; maybe he was subconsciously altering himself to fit her preference of a servant?

"Nice try but you're not in Sinsack form so it doesn't count," Ran commented. "Anyways, if the pineapple hasn't actually started the molding process then bring it here so we can prepare it for Ms. Yukari's surprise," the fox woman said.

**Sometime later, Unknown location**

The blond haired woman who had pink pajamas was sitting up, having just awoken from her several month long hibernation. Before her sat the woman with fox ears and tails.

"Ah, Ran, is something the matter?" asked the woman in her pajamas.

"Yes, when you were last awake, you gave the order to deal with a disturbance in the barrier whose source was caused by something in the human village. As desired, the village had been searched and it turns out that a farmer's son had a magical infliction. The source was traced to Mugenkan," answered the fox woman.

"The gate to the dream world? And what did you find?" To this the fox woman lifted up a piece of wood. It was in the shape of a hexagon, and had the yin-yang symbol on it.

"This talisman, it incorporates an old Chinese magic to split one into two bodies, one containing the negative side of a person and one containing the positive side. Or rather that is what it was supposed to do until it was exposed to Gensokyo's essence. It seems that now it conjures two bodies and the two minds like it is supposed to, but they are still linked to a degree and neither half is purely negative nor purely positive."

"So there is two of the child?"

"And that's where the problem lies. Someone used Mugenkan's status as a bridge world to send one of the halves into the outside world, then they used time manipulation to send that half forward in time. We calculated that the time he was sent to anywhere from a year to a decade difference from today. It's straining on the barrier. So if the two halves stay in separate worlds for the span of the time equal to how forward in time the missing body was sent, then the growth of the tear in Gensokyo's boundary will increase until it is forced to assimilate with the outside world."

The blond woman blinked, this information sunk in and circulated. The process happened faster than a blink of an eye. She instantly answered with a question to clarify the situation. Of course it was a inductively cogent assumption.

"Phane," the woman in pajamas answered.

There were no words spoken as the somehow air became heavy in that room. The fox woman did not know why that was the case.

"Phane? A substance that has a specified appearance or resembles something specified?"

"...Never mind. I will use the power of this Talisman to split the beast from hell into two. One half will stay here and control the drones, my intuition tells me that I'll need him here. The second half will pursue the human boy in the outside world and bring him back."

"Very good master," the fox woman bowed.

"Now go inform him," the woman in pajamas commanded.

"Yes, master," the fox woman stood up to leave the room.

"But before we do any of that...do I smell pineapple?" the woman asked as she sniffed the air.

"Yes Ms. Yukari."

**Sometime later...**

The man who had who had visited the Sogiita Fruit-n-Vegetable stand stood before Yukari as she explained to him what she informed Ran earlier.

"Take this talisman and activate it," she said, handing him the wooden yin-yang device.

As soon as he obeyed, there were two of him. The woman looked to the one on the left.

"You, take your true form and resume your duties here in Gensokyo," she commanded.

When she said this, the man's face dissolved, revealing his face to be an illusion. In reality he had been wearing a white sack imprinted with the symbol for "sin" over his head, thus hiding his real face. The sack reached down past the man's neck and a rope of sorts was around his neck, securing the sack to his head. The appearance he had when he met Gunha at the Sogiita's fruit and vegetable stand was gone. Even the fancy clothing was an illusion as he had been wearing a light blue kimono with a matching Hakama, towering over his master in height.

Making a sound that could only be an affirmative snarl, the 'Sinsack' turned around and exited per the superior youkai's orders.

The woman then looked to the one on the right.

"You will seek out the boy in question and obtain his 'light half' from the outside world's future. You are to assume the identity of a student who is studying odd phenomena if that fits is not suspicious. Alter it as needed before you give your false back-story. Also, you are to maintain yourself. I expect you to act with the manners of a Yakumo, even if you are in foreign land and working by a name that is not your own. For this mission your name will be using the name...De-takoukan."

"Master...isn't there already...somebody who goes by that name?" the shikigami asked.

"Yugi Moto?"

"He's from another series."

"Billy Bob Joe!"

"Ms. Yukari, are you playing around with me?"

"Indeed I am," Yukari giggled. "Use the name Haratani Yabumi."

The man gave a long pause before bowing, holding in a sigh.

"Yes master," the man who now was called Yabumi answered as he turned and left.

**Academy City:**

The secured room was now completely wrecked by the exhibition fight. Kakine was standing and while his clothing was torn up, he himself was unharmed. Gunha on the other hand, was on the floor and looked far worse, panting from exhaustion. A loud beeping sound filled the room.

"Alright, the exhibition fight is over!" yelled one of the scientists who was taking part of the observation.

"Someone get a med team in there!"

"Why didn't you use your teleportation instead of your speed as your initial attack?" Kakine asked out of simple curiosity.

Gunha looked up at the other esper. He was fighting a man in a man to man confrontation, even if it was without real purpose. Gunha wasn't fighting a youkai, teleporting to the side of an enemy would thus be cowardly on his part.

"It would have been ungusty of me," he answered.

"All it did was serve to add another flawless victory for me," Kakine commented as he let the room.

**Results of observations:**

_AIM Power level: Unknown._

_Detail: Due to the chaotic nature of his AIM field, we cannot make an accurate analysis on it. In addition, we do not actually know if he is even using the AIM field as his source of power. In fact, he seems to distort the AIM fields around him._

_Estimated AIM power level: 1,043,147_

_-Detail: This classes him as the 3rd most powerful esper we have ever come across in terms of ability strength._

_-Determined Esper Level: 5_

_Power structure: Unknown._

_-Detail: None of the means in which he utilizes it indicates a strict concept. Even reading the AIM field itself yields no results as it does not react normally. We are under the impression that it functions in such a way that we cannot comprehend._

_Esper Rank: 7_

_-Detail: His poor control over his power, its lack of utility value, and his value to SYSTEM being virtually non-existent* together makes him effectively useless for many of our goals._

_*The Super Attendant's words included "He is useless for the majority of my plans. Hand him over to Kaizumi Tsugutoshi from the Board of Directors and process him as you do with all Gemstone Espers."_

_Background check: Non-conclusive._

_-Detail: He claims that he cannot remember when he didn't have his power or how he got it, which brings us to believe that he has had his power since birth. His parents named him "Supremacy of the Military Court", it is not a name he chose. He refused to talk about where he came from._

* * *

><p><strong>Author Notes:<strong>

Finally! Now that I got that crap out of the way, I can resume the storyline and have Reimu resolve the incident with the demons!

De-takoukan simply means "data exchange". I don't know if the kanji means anything special, but if you separate the name into De, Takou and Kan then it's so friggen loaded that I'm not even going to bother listing the meanings. However, yes there is a reason why I had Yukari mention the name "Haratani Yabumi", anyone who is familiar with Railgun No Fanfare (or whatever the fuck it's called) may figure out why and might even come to an understand why it will be important later on.

Special Thanks to _Snapshot2010_ for the name.

In case anyone missed it, Gunha is officially less of a pervert...or he merely has better control over himself.

Wow, I had to bend my back a bit, but I think this a success in the fact that I was able to replace some of the "OC"ness with actual canon in the blond guy. With this, the only OCs in this fic are the male shikigami's "True form", Midori who is off screen and will forever remain off screen, and Marisa's cousin...Maybe I should transform them into canon characters too?

While Yukari's pet Sinsack itself cannot be anything but an OC while in its "true form" given what I have already made reality about its existence and what I have planned for later on, Marisa's cousin is another story since I have the canon materials needed to do so at my disposal (Midori I'm not sure since I have no intention of ever having her appear).

However, some of you might see this as a dick move on my part. Please voice any concerns so I have a better idea on what to change.


	8. Eastern Wondrous Tales of Romance

Special Thanks to Kerreb17 for putting up with my poor grammar.

**Chapter 5: Eastern Wondrous Tales of Romance**

"That man lied to me!" Gunha yelled.

He was wielding the comparatively advanced firearm that he received from the outside world living in his dreams. The man who gave it to him claimed it could kill an oni.

Yet here stood a fairy that was shot in the head and still standing.

The thing was that the bullets were using the blessings of Christianity, a religion of the outside world. However in Gensokyo, the religions of Taoism, Buddhism and Shinto reigned supreme. Since Gensokyo was home to what was forgotten, there would be no way a religion so revered in the outside world could possibly hold power in Gensokyo beyond simply making a weapon slightly stronger against some youkai.

There was also the fact it was using silver for the bullets, an extremely weak material and not a weakness material for any of the monstrosities in Gensokyo with the exception of vampires.

But Gunha knew none of this.

All he knew was that the weapon was useless against Lily White, a fairy who heralds spring by shooting the crap out of everyone she comes across.

Well, this wasn't the brightest of reasoning given that fairies regenerate from injuries unless you completely vaporized them on a sub atomic level. However, the bullet lodging itself into a tree could have been justification of Gunha's outburst in anger, but he didn't even pay attention to it. Thus, Gunha was right in that the man lied to him in saying it could kill oni, but his reasoning as to why that was the case was unsound and ridiculous.

"Looks like I'll have to defeat you with my newly discovered power!" While Gunha became a hundred to a thousand times stronger in the outside world, he was only ten to a hundred times stronger in Gensokyo. However, this meant that he could fight youkai in close quarters combat, even so much as man handling a Kappa in sumo wrestling, with great effort on his part, of course.

And so he rushed at the green-eyed, long blond-haired fairy who wore a white hat and dress with red trim.

"Super Amazing-" and the fairy flew to the side, causing Gunha to practically fly past her.

"Pu-AAAH!" Gunha shouted as his fist rammed into the tree he had shot earlier, lodging it inside the tree.

"You've got lots of spirit, but I'll get you for your injustice one of these days, Lily White! Mark my words: JUSTICE SHALL PREVAIL!"

"Nature always breaks the concepts of mortal creatures! Even if your justice strikes me, I'll only return to herald spring once again," said the fairy as she flew away.

There was a long pause.

"HOLY SHIT! A FAIRY INTELLIGENT ENOUGH TO USE FIRST PERSON PRONOUNS! I HAVE TO WARN THE VILLAGE!"

Meanwhile, a fairy living at a misty lake sneezed.

**Hakurei Shrine**

A man who had white hair and who wore glasses, dressed in black and blue and carrying a bag, stood before the donation box. It was the Unmoving Used Goods Seller, the human/youkai half-breed Store Owner of Kourindou, and the unwittingly direct benefactor to Sogiita Gunha's initial development as an esper; the man named Rinnosuke Morichika.

Perhaps today would be the biggest series of coincidences he would ever go through. He was not only outside of his shop, but also about to donate to the shrine. But he had halted from dropping the money into the donation box. The reason why was because he was confused as why the Shrine Maiden was hiding behind the front door to the shrine's main building and intensely watching him.

Rinnosuke dropped the yen into the box after a long and awkward silence.

"Thank you very much!" Reimu was suddenly saying while bowing frantically.

"Are you _that_ desperate?"

"Sorry, I've been getting fewer donations lately," Reimu said apologetically.

During the winter, the boy who followed her on one of her excursions to resolve an incident appeared one day to deliver Reimu the bloomers that Marisa stole from her. While she did wonder why he was so apologetic about it, she did not inquire as he had something else to say. He told her that he was not allowed to approach her. That meant her steady source of fruits and vegetables was halted.

Then there was that kind elderly couple who appeared every so often, they had been coming less and less, probably due to old age. This halted the closest thing she had to a steady income.

Then there was the overall decrease due to infamy thanks to a fight in the human village where she nearly killed someone who attacked her. Due to the lack of evidence and witnesses, she was assumed to be the instigator. Fewer and fewer people would decide to randomly visit her shrine and donate anything.

These three factors together were great blows to the Shrine Maiden's livelihood, not to mention that the winter was plagued with demons and foreign youkai attacking everyone. In fact, that was even persisting in the Spring.

"Hey, Rinnosuke, do you know anything about the unresolved demon threat?" Reimu asked the store owner.

"Well, I've heard that one of the humans from the human village came across the gate to the demon world," the white-haired hybrid answered.

**Forest of Magic - Nighttime**

"Huff! Huff! Huff!"

The blond woman in the purple dress ran.

She had been running for so long that she could not feel her feet any longer. Her breathing was an uncontrollable jumble of gasps and chokes.

She had been running because she was terrified.

The forest around her was dark: too dark to see. It somehow seemed like the trees themselves had come to life, reaching out to grab her with that branches as if they were clawed hands. The delirium made their roots appear as if they were purposefully trying to trip her.

Her skin was covered from the gross number of cuts she had received, but she still ran relentlessly through the wood, certain that, if she stopped, that thing would get her.

What was it she had no way of knowing. It was chasing her, though. It had been chasing her for what felt like hours, making everything darker and more terrifying.

Aside from being in a forest, she did not know where she was anymore. But that no longer seemed to matter so long as she escaped it. So long as she just kept on running-

Her foot caught on a root exposed from the ground and agony shot through her leg as it twisted. She fell to the ground with a violent impact, scraping across the ground as the momentum carried her.

Aside from moaning in pain, her hyperventilating prevented her from doing anything.

"This is it. I can't run any more...it's going to catch, kill and eat me! Or maybe just eat me!"

If this was the Gensokyo she knew then it was most likely a youkai, a flesh-eating beast that could tear any human limb from limb. She heard the snap of a branch behind her and began to whimper as she turned…

…and almost cried in relief. It was a young woman, a girl barely a out of her teens. She had aqua-colored eyes and long, scarlet hair. Her green beret and dress resembling traditional Chinese clothing. The woman was smiling, like an angel.

"Oh, thank the gods," she gasped, her breath catching up with her. "You're human."

The woman took a step forward.

"Nope."

The red haired woman grinned as she reached her hand out. The blond woman's eyes widened in new found terror as her hopes were crushed underfoot.

"No...NO!" she screamed as she tried to crawl away.

Then there was a sound of impact. Small and sharp, followed by the roar of pain coming from the aggressor.

An arrow was embedded in the chest of the youkai woman, she grunted in pain while she staggered backwards from the force.

"Switch!" came a voice from the shadows, followed by a second arrow which was deflected by the red haired woman skillfully.

"Switch! Yumemi Okazaki, why isn't that spell rea-OH SHIT!" the youkai woman was already on the man, revealing him to be a human, a youkai hunter armed with a bow and cold iron arrows.

"Dream Bomb!" came from another red haired woman, she however was wearing a red dress. At point blank range, the purple spheres hit the Chinese youkai with no hope for defense.

It was in that confusion when the other youkai hunter scrambled to his feet and put distance between himself and the youkai.

...

They noticed something was off, that something was horribly wrong. For one, they could detect that her essence was perfectly stable.

As the smoke cleared, the youkai woman was still standing. Aside from her tattered clothing, she was unhurt.

One of the youkai hunters realized what was different about her. While she had virtually no spiritual energy and thus would be registered as a weak youkai, she was loaded with life energy which served the woman in a way that meant one of the worst possible situations for any human who had to fight her. They had been briefed they were adequately prepared to take on anything that Gensokyo could throw at them. Now, survey says 'apparently not'. And he voiced it, allowing his comrades to know the depths of the unlikeliness that any of them would come out of this fight alive, even against a "weak youkai" such as herself.

"She has magic resistance! Her qi's giving her fucking magic resistance!"

**Mayohiga's outskirts**

Four entities walked down the road, making their way to a village of apparitions. Although they too were inhuman, their approach was not for any sort of communion. The four were vampires, and they intended to live by "Might makes right" as they saw themselves as the most powerful species of youkai in Gensokyo aside from the tengu who humiliated them when they first tried to take over a hundred years ago.

But there were two flaws in their original plan, they went after a stronger target when it had no gain for them. But, this time, their prey would be easy and they would gain much from crushing it.

Their greatest weakness, having finally hidden itself behind the mountains, gave them greater confidence.

"So, this is the home of the great Yukari Yakumo, is it?"

"Be on guard. Although she should be asleep for a week, she has as many as twenty beast youkai guarding the area, and thirty or more drone sin-sacks."

"Damn! For someone so powerful...you'd think she's being a little paranoid."

"Not really, seeing as we're about to kill her."

"Here's the plan," their leader spoke. "_Disco-ball _will-"

"My name's not _Disco-ball_! Why does everyone keep calling me that!" the sparkling vampire demanded.

"Because you sparkle in the sunlight like a homo," said a vampire who was covered in piercings and tattoos.

"Fuck you!" the sparkling vampire responded.

"No thank you. You're not my type," the rude vampire replied.

"Urk!" the sparkling vampire twitched in anger. The leader continued telling his plan.

"Anyways, _Disco-ball_ will attack any of the beast youkai outside, while _Jackass_-"

"_Jack_! My name is _Jack_!" the vampire with the piercings and tattoos yelled.

"Hah! Serves you right for calling me a homo!" the vampire called Disco-ball laughed.

"-will stay inside the buildings, turning any drones he comes across into ghouls. I'll go straight for the gate that leads this village to Yukari's resting place. Cullen will cover my rear."

"Oh my~" the fourth and obviously homosexual vampire said. The group's leader, sparkling vampire, and the rude vampire with the piercings and tattoos all said the same thing.

"Shut up!"

**Human village: Sogiita Residence.**

Gunha was lying there in his bed. For some reason, he never really thought of what happened in his dream up until now, if it even was a dream, which it probably wasn't given that he was having a continuation of whatever happened the last night. But tonight, he felt there was something extra wrong. Something was important, and he didn't know what it was. The more he dwelt on the part he felt was the important part, the more serious the matter seemed.

In particular, it was when he was in that alien world's jail cell. There he was visited by a man who forced him to grow. But it was what the man said afterwards that disturbed Gunha.

"Who are you and what are you planning?" Gunha recalled having demanded. If his memory served correctly, the man whispered into Gunha's ear the answer which Gunha now found as horrifying now as he did then. And it was worse how serious the man was when he spoke.

"My name is Sogitta Gunha, age twenty. And my goal is to do the one thing that should have been done hundreds of years ago...

_I'm going to kill the Dragon God."_


	9. Vampire Incident: Renko

_Acclaim my name!_

_See, immersed in the splendor of my visage!_

_Acclaim my name!_

_Your world of badinage doth bore me! I shall destroy that outlining shape and rebuild it anew as a case for solemnity._

_But I am a merciful and loving god, for if this world cannot survive on solemnity alone, I will not abandon those who worship me__._

_Your world shall last but for the three of the remaining four parts!_

_Now entertain me with your suffering, children of mortals, spawn of youkai!_

* * *

><p>A friend of mine named Maribel (which I have difficulty pronouncing so I call her 'Mary') had often found herself on a multitude of times inside a world that was unlike our own. Children with laughter, natural strawberries, and creatures seen in old folklore…to come to an understanding of its existence, she told me about it. I told her that should she ever go there permanently, then she was to take me with her.<p>

As you can see, she's still walking beside me and we're not in that world.

I decided to take a morning walk to help keep my health and we saw each other. She had a sense of urgency. Walking together, she explained her situation. Apparently she accidentally got sucked into that world again...

"When the men and woman discovered that the Chinese dressed rainbow youkai was immune to their magic, they attacked her with swords, iron clubs and various other martial weapons. It was like something out of a martial artist action movie. The problem was that the youkai too was skilled in close quarters combat when three of them were attacking her at the same time. One of the men in traditional clothing yelled at me, telling me to flee. And so I did. The next part was hazy, but I do remember exiting the forest...I came across a bunch of vampires, they apparently had been sealing something inside a rock...and there were a lot of dead bodies."

She claimed that she saw was hazy, but she seemed to remember what people said clearly.

* * *

><p><em>"The hell! That seal is made to hold a dragon deity for several centuries! At this rate, she'll break out by the end of the week!"<em>

_"And after all that, we lost over half our members just to seal this one person."_

_"This is why I said not to underestimate Mima. And what did you do? 'This will be enough to stop her!' you said. 'We'll be fine!' you said. Now she'll be back in a few days and we might not have taken over Gensokyo by then! And if we haven't, we can't make it our domain, and then we'll be fucking dead!"_

_"Shut up!"_

_"Well we can't back down now; she'll be coming after us once she breaks free unless we get her out of this world. Is the entrance to Old Hell anywhere near here?"_

_"Hey, that human over there! She saw us! We have to kill her!"_

_"Hey, don't needlessly kill random people!"_

_"But she witnessed us!"_

"Then the small Blue haired one approached me and started to examine me. She spoke to the others, which gave one of them an idea…"

_"She might seem like a normal human from the outside, but there's no danger to her. In the near future, she'll be in the outside world before she can warn anyone of our activities."_

_"I have an idea. You, human woman! Take this rock; it contains the soul of a powerful evil. Take it to your world, and feed the spirit to an animal. You have a week at best to do so. Don't let the rock break and don't enter an Anti-magic field. To feed it to an animal, just put the rock in front of said animal when it's hungry and let nature do its thing."_

_"Wait, what are you doing?"_

_"Solving our problem; supernatural creatures in the Outside world suffer roughly a 70% loss in ability, right? And if an animal eats her soul, we'll have nothing to fear entirely."_

_"And even if Mina breaks the seal, the decrease in power due to the outside world's existence will allow us time. Thus we'll have preparations ready if she decides to come after us."_

_"Exactly...Oh yes, Human woman, one last thing; given how powerful the spirit is, once the animal eats it, the spirit it will probably turn into a youkai. I don't know; I've heard of animals becoming youkai from eating evil spirits but I never actually came across one. And since youkai love human flesh…well, you'll be more likely to survive than if you were to have gotten on the sealed spirit's bad side…"_

"_News, Yuuka will not be interfering with our take over."_

"_Wait, Yuuka the abnormally powerful, normal youkai? How did you guys even manage?"_

"_Why do we call her a normal youkai if she's a Group 5 danger?"_

"_We introduced her to a new type of plant. She's trying to figure out how it functions so that she can add it to her garden."_

* * *

><p>"When I woke up this morning, I had the rock in my hand," Maribel said.<p>

"I see."

"Anyways, that was why I am in a hurry to get to the pet store."

"Actually, this presents an opportunity to us."

"How so?"

"The man said that an animal that eats such a powerful evil spirit would become a youkai, right? We can take this time to observe and study the process of animals becoming youkai. This may help us with our other endeavors somehow."

"What kind of animal should we pick?"

"Well, I wanted to test the validity of cephalopods and their rumored precognition abilities as well as their supposed mythical levels of strength and speed. I also wanted to test cnidarian immortality. So an animal that falls under either of those groups."

"On top of it all, this time it was different in another way. This time, I lost something. I dropped my mobile phone in a village of cats by accident, and when I woke up at home, I had everything but it."

"Really?" I asked, stunned but intrigued.

As if on cue, my mobile phone started ringing itself. I reach into my pocket to pull it out and find that the caller ID is "Maribel Hearn" and sending me a text message.

"Mary?" I ask my friend, "You're certain you don't have your phone?"

"Yes."

"Then let's find out who does," I tell her as read the text message.

…

**Texting Conversation**

From Maribel: Do you know the person who owns this cellphone?

Yes, I do. How did you come across it?

From Maribel: You wouldn't believe it, so there's no point in telling you.

**End of Texting Conversation**

…

Whoever had her cellphone automatically assumed I wouldn't believe how they got the cellphone and thought that I would dismiss it as false it if they told me. This is a possible indication that the individual had no interest in tricking me.

Whoever it was, they'd pause before responding to my next comment.

…

**Texting Conversation**

Try me.

FROM Maribel: A cat told me that a woman that smelled like my master dropped it. However, my master's name isn't Maribel Hearn.

FROM Maribel: Anyways, I'm on a deadline so if your friend wants her phone back then please send her over quickly. Or I can leave it here and leave.

**End of Texting Conversation**

…

Suspicious, he's telling Maribel to find it as if she had a means to. Since I could track her phone with mine, I had a means to but…

Regardless, this had fit with Maribel's story on dropping her cellphone in a village of cats. But we assumed if cats could talk, even in that other world, why would they mistake Maribel for this individual's master? Perhaps I should have my pepper spray ready in case I'm being lied to, I can't rule out the possibility of this being some sort of elaborate trap.

I switched over to my tracker app to see just where her cellphone was…

…

It was literally within 100 yards in the general direction of the nearest pet store.

"Hey, this location is on the way to the pet store, we can kill two birds in one stone!" Maribel stated. This was already obvious to me, but now I knew she understood. After walking two hundred feet, we could see a man holding a cellphone. He was on the sidewalk, standing away from anywhere someone could be hiding. Of course I would not feel safe due to his actions that he would perform when he looked our directi-

"Renko-sama!"

These words were spoken from a man whom I was pretty certain I never met in my life. This would make me suspicious, make me be cautious of approaching, but that had no value in the end. In an instant, the man closed the distance between himself and me. Of course I was scared and I would have drawn for my gun had he not already wrapped his arms around me and lifted me off the ground like I was light as a feather. I was scared, but I was calm. I had to be as Maribel was freaking out.

"RENKO-SAMA!" The man cried as he hugged me.

"What the Hell?! Let go of me!" I shouted as I struggled in his arms. Shortly after, the man had let go of me and backed away. He looked at me; somehow I could tell fear was in his eyes.

"Who are you?" I demanded.

"M-my apologies!" he said as he bowed. "I mistook you for someone dear to me."

He turned to Maribel and held out a cellphone which I recognized as hers. It even had that cute keychain attached to it. The moment Mairbel took back her phone, frightened, the man ran off with speed that I was certain was impossible for a normal human.

After a long pause, Maribel spoke to me.

"Renko? Do you know that man? He called your name…"

"No, I never met him before," I answered. But this was an odd situation; the man knew my name and called me "sama." Earlier he mentioned over the texting conversation that Maribel was mistaken for his master.

"That man, he reeked of octopus," Maribel pointed out.

* * *

><p><em>The entire world is black, and then a screen turns on.<em>

_This screen has two lists, one on each side. The first list was titled "Independent." The first name under it was Mina with a status of Dead.__The second name was Yuuka with a status of No longer applicable._

_The second list was titled "Vampire Team 1." Under it, the names of Welles,__Nanshii, Feisu, and Maiku all had a status of Dead. The names Roddo, Keynes, Denisu, Oorafu, Ruuruu, and Remilia__all had a status of Alive__._

_...  
><em>

**End of Chapter_  
><em>**

Special Thanks to Kaiser Dude for proof reading. Hopefully you people don't hate me too much for the drastic changes.


	10. Not an actual Chapter

I apologize to everyone who has followed this fic this far, as I will putting this on temporary hold. And even when I bring it back, I will only be rewriting it so that I can make the fic has a conclusive ending 20+ chapters early.

The reason is because I was going to basically use the Vampire Incident arc to explain what was going on and thus justify why I was doing something which didn't really have in relevance to the plot. Worse, it was going to be an attempt to make a bunch of jokes that were ripoffs of ripoffs into something serious. The genre change was also a plot point to the overall plot.

Thus, this arc somehow killed my motivation to write, but I don't want this fic to die like my other fics have, so when I am done with Life of the Tengu, I will see to remaking this fic and hopefully give it a decent ending.

I would like to thank my proof readers for putting up with it, and for those who reviewed (because that's the only real way I could tell that someone was reading it if they weren't my proof readers).

I'll thank those who read but weren't a proof reader or someone to reviewed it, assuming you exist.


	11. Apology

Between this fic evolving into a three way crossover, the unnecessary addition of OCs to it, my attentions to other fics, the fact I lost my drive, all topped off with my bajillion pages of content lost; I've given up on this fic.

I apologize to everyone who expected more from me, and I apologize for not telling you sooner.

Hell, I found out that people were still posting reviews on this fic (thank you), trying to help me.

But I thank you all.


End file.
